only good will ever come from introducing your mom to the kardashians.

cory has been out of town this past week

on a business trip

so jude and i have been staying with my parents. 

while here, i've been able to introduce my mom

to the magic and drama and OMG! that is

the kardashians. 

you guys, it's been so much better than i expected.

here are a few of the gems she's said

while we've been watching.

"why are they famous? 

they just have big butts."

"they aren't even that pretty!"

"brissa! she is so young, but look at her face.

she has had work done. 

oh yeah, she's had surgery."

"that one with the black hair [kim] is the prettiest.

"brissa, you're prettier than her."

she got jude some adorable dresses

from ecuador so we had a 

fashion show! fashion show! fashion show at lunch!

she slid this in the conversation like it was nothing,

"jude, you are like a kardashian

with all these dresses."

by the time we tried on the second dress,

jude started getting hangry and fussy and whiny

and just so over the fashion show

so my mom said,

"oh jude, you are not a kardashian

if you don't like to try on clothes."

like, who is this lady?!

i loved my mom before,

but with her nbd kardashian name dropping attitude

during conversation,

it is confirmed she is my soul sister. 

this is everything.

i never realized how much my mom loved me

until i had jude.

motherhood is a never-ending love.

it is a perfect love.

it is a holy love.

te amo, mi reina.

con un poquito de sal y un poquito de azúcar

happy mother's day.

bees: a story from my childhood

mami dropped me off at class

like she did every other weekday.

i'd been a kindergartner for at least a few weeks

and was used to the drill.

but something was different today.

my four-year-old self could not handle

the fact my mom was leaving me.

i started a deafening combination of scream-crying.

i ran to the giant windows.

i pounded and pounded and pounded

trying to break the glass 

that separated us. 

after a few failed attempts to distract me from 

the windows,

my teacher ran to get help from one of the parents.

her red curls bounced as she asked him to help

her move a giant set of bookshelves

in front of the windows.

i figured out their plan before they could execute it.

i ran to another set of windows.

i cried for my mama.

my tears burned as they fell down my cheeks.

she put her hand on the glass and smiled.

i knew she was telling me everything was okay.

as badly as i wanted to believe her,

i couldn't shake my fear.

defeated, my teacher opened the door.

i ran into one of the safest hugs

i will ever be wrapped in.

i can still remember how soft her cheek felt against mine.

we walked over to the patio

and sat at a round table.

i remember running my shoes over
the sand covered concrete.

she held me close and rocked me.

she had me breathe deep to stop my hyperventilating. 

my head rested on her chest.

she was wearing her bee shirt. 

my favorite shirt.

it was a speckled steel blue.

the bee was my favorite part.

with its silky black and gold body.

i touched the smooth fabric as she promised

to come back for me after class.

she kissed my head and told me to be strong.

she stood me up, had me look at her and breathe.

we tried to get the red splotches on my face to calm down

before i walked back in to class. 

i walked into a room of eyeballs and dropped jaws.

after one last hug,

my mom handed me off to my teacher 

who took my hand and walked me to my desk.

i can't remember what i learned

or who i played with at recess.

all i can remember is looking out the window
when class was almost over,
and seeing my mami standing there.
in my favorite bee shirt.
waiting to give me a hug. 

heart smiles.

after two weeks in the big apple,

my mama came home on sunday.

she and daddy drove like this the entire way home.

the house feels whole.

christmas can begin.

my mami is home. 

heart smiles.

nearly every time i call my mom,
our conversation goes as follows:

b: hi mama! how are you?
m: i'm great, mijita.
b: why are you so great today?
m: because i am alive. i am walking. my body is healthy.
i am breathing. the sun is shining.  i love my family.

when those conversations
are combined with ayley's 
beautiful post about living life,
i can't help but express my gratitude
for this beautiful gift called life.

it's amazing.
we're able to make choices and follow dreams.
every day is a miracle.
every day is a gift.
every day is another chance to live.

life.is.beautiful.

in other news,
next week is thanksgiving break
and i get to spend nearly a week
with my family.
i can't wait. 

the facts are these.

1. i am officially old.  i just can't go to midnight showings and be in the office at eight the next same morning like i used to. it's impossible.

 2. i'm pretty sure there is a dog living in the apartment above mine.  i keep hearing these strange puppy cries and yawn-ish whines.
3. despite their best efforts to teach me to finish my homework before having fun, i ignored my parents last night and left for the movie with only half of my homework done. {five bucks says i'll get a call from one, or both, of them asking me why i didn't finish my homework before i left.  mami will tell me i need sleep so i don't age prematurely and dad will either say "choices....consequences..." or ask if it was worth it}. 

4. last night {well, technically, i guess it was this morning} beth and i gchatted and all i could talk about was how i wanted one blonde haired, blue eyed cherub and a mutant baby. unfortunately, due to my dominant genetics, neither of those will be possible. 

low rise

oh how i love them.

chronological order.

|[10:13 am]|

every member of my family came to wake me up one at a time.

ashley came to steal my pizzle to play games.

mom clawed scratched my back lovingly.

james yelled my name.

dad bounced my bed and screamed "earthquake!!"

it was like the ultimate high school flashback.

|[11:07 am]|

ash had a regional basketball game.

they dominated 36 - 10 with only five girls.

while they dominated on the court we had a gangsta photoshoot.

mom did not approve.

instead of flashing gang signs for fear of being hunted down and jumped,

she went with the always classy miss america wave. 

|[11:41 am]|

at this point in the game we started yelling out things like,

"get a touchdown!" "gooooaallll!" "get it in the pipes!"

"come on!! give us a hat trick!" and "homerun!"

we were definitely the loudest people there. 

|[11:57 am]|

jamie introduced me to our new best friend.

it's like a cross between Jesus and Joseph Smith.

weird. 

|[12:03 am]|

while ashley and i waited outside for mom, dad and james to stop socializing,

a father of a girl on the other team came out, congratulated ashley and said,

"you guys did great. you'll probably take it all."

to which she laughed and said, "we can only hope."

what the cocky?!

|[12:07 pm]|

the "adults" stopped talking and we headed home. 

dad told me to never get old because getting old sucks.

jamie and i started singing cute is what we aim for songs. 

|[12:13pm]|

ashley dominated at wii bowing

and james cleaned out at wii golf.

dad did pretty well on solitaire. 

i love my house on saturday mornings. 

my brain has a "shut down" button i don't know about.

yesterday as i was walking down the hill from class to work i fell.

i don't know how it happened.

i didn't trip or anything.

i just...collapsed.

and i'm not talking a "whoopsie! i seem to have fallen" fall.

i'm talking about a full on fall.

my glasses came off. 

my watch came undone.

my phone fell to the asphalt with my mom continuing our conversation.

i felt like moses because the sea of people walking around me parted.

a few kids asked me if i was okay.

i mumbled a "yeah i'm fine" while keeping my eyes to the ground.

i was so tired and tempted to just lay down on the hill and take a nap.

i decided this would result in my being trampled to death by those eager

zoobs trying so hard to make it to class on time and began collecting my things. 

i was just about to get up and i noticed this young man just waiting by my side.

what the what?

he waited until i was fully up and attempted to make eye contact as he said

"are you okay?"

i gave him a strange look that said 

"did you really just wait for me to stand all the way up to ask me that question?"

and said "yes i am thank you."

then i walked to work.

both of my knees are bruised and i have a slight scrape on my right elbow.

i told beth and she freaked out.

apparently collapsing isn't a good thing.

she asked me if my body was okay and all i could say was

"yeah, it was just my points that got hurt."

i got it from my mama

my mom called me and told me she's going crazy because she's not allowed to talk to her sisters on the phone. our conversation went as follows:

mami: brissa, i miss my sisters
brissa: well mami, why don't you talk to them?
mami: because i can't!!

brissa: why?!

mami: i spoke 5,000 minutes last month so daddy said i couldn't. 

brissa: FIVE THOUSAND MINUTES!?!?!

mami: yes. after he saw the bill he said "nope. no more."

brissa: aaahahahahha

mami: brissa, i think i'm going to get ear cancer!

brissa: (still laughing) what? why?

mami: didn't you hear me? FIVE THOUSAND minutes on the phone! you know how people's lungs look when they smoke? that's how the inside of my ear looks because of all those minutes.

brissa: oh mami, you're crrrrazy. i don't think you can get phone cancer from that.

mami: whatever brissa. 

at this point in the story i broke out in song. more specifically, i started singing 'mama mia' and mami joined in and certain points making "tacka-tacka-esque" sounds as well as including a few background vocals. she abruptly stopped singing, i finished my stanza and asked her why she stopped. this is how she reacted...

mami:ooh i'm so bored! i need to call my sisters! i've already cleaned the house, done the laundry, got dinner ready and now i'm just sitting here... ah! i have to go.

brissa: what? whhhy?!?!

mami: because your dad will be home soon and i need to get ready.

brissa: it's 4:30 and you're still not ready?!?!

mami: i just need to talk to my sisters! i'm going crazy! 

brissa: haha. i'm going to tell beth this entire conversation.

mami: what?! beth is there and you're talking on the phone? you have such bad manners! go talk to beth i need to hurry and get ready. oh and tell my white daughter i love her.

brissa: what about me?!

mami: yeah you too. 

i love my family. 

good day to you.

friday. was the shiz. like woah. we had our second birthday party for daxflame and our first real party of the new year. it was magic. i can't even describe how much i love living with my roommates. they're honestly some of the best friends i could have ever asked/hoped/prayed for. now enough with the mushy mushy and back to the partay. we had such a good turn out. i got to see so many old friends and make some new ones. we deeefinitely got some great rockband footage for our reality show. the only negative of the night was the unexpected arrival of that stupid skankatron we all hate {this girl version of a cock block...wait, is it too inappropriate to say cock block? oh well, it's already written and i don't feel like reaching mr. pinky all they way up to mr. backspace. is it weird that i just labeled my pinky mr. even though he's on a girl body?} post party breakdown included jess, chantz, frazier and i talking and listening to music while the disco ball revolved.
saturday. slightly hungover from all the goldfish crackers and water consumed the night before. we didn't get to bed until two in the ay.em. i "officially" woke up at noon, went out and looked at the result of a night of "heavy partying" in provo. cups everywhere. literally. here is where we found them: the floor, by the fish tank, in beth's bathroom, in the couch, on the couch, under the couch, on the stairs and even in the sink. who in their right mind puts a p.l.a.s.t.i.c. cup in the sink? i hope they didn't think we were going to wash it and use it for later. went to big lots to get a leash for roxy and then hit up macey's for our daily supplies. i just want to give a shout out to calypso lemonade for being the most delicious lemonade i've had in a while. and trust me, i know lemonade. we just wanted to "stay chill" today so we had a mellow rockband session and then watched part of the first season of jersey shore.
sunday. found out my car was overheating again and reeking of antifreeze. i endured another terrifying drive home but the light at the end of the tunnel was seeing my mommy! she's been in new york for the past nine days and i haven't been able to talk to her very much. i went home and she fed me soup and delicious treats found only in the glorious big apple.  drove home big pimpin with my blaser on and rollin in my mama's acura until carlos gets fixed. das wassup!!

telephone call from the nyc

"i am as fat--

i am as fat as your mom.

 hahahahahahahaha."

my mom just called me from her trip to new york.

the above quote came straight from her mouth.

she says it's funny because she's my mom

and we used to say "yo' mama" jokes as teens.

ay caramba...

feng shui.

last night mommy, ashley and i stayed up until 1:30.

we chatted and laughed.

it was golden.

i haven't heard mami laugh that loud and hearty in a while.

after the conversation ended she went downstairs.

i thought she was going to bed.

she came up five-ish minutes later with a little white pill in hand.

"take this and go to sleep."

ah the perks of being under the same roof

as my melatonin dealer.

-------------

she just asked what technology will be like for my kids.

"cameras in their earrings?"

she also just told me  i needed a personal robot.

that way it can get me my water bottle so she won't have to.

double layer fleece blanket.

after taking three finals in one day,

being stuck in traffic for a lot longer that i'd have liked

and not getting more than eight hours of sleep in a 72-hour period,

i'm home.

i'm home and i'm happy.

right now i'm lying in my bed in my mami's study.

i lost my room four years ago to my baby sister.

my national geographic cut-outs and dream collages

have been replaced with jonas brothers posters and rough pencil drawings.

i can hear mom and dad downstairs

speaking spanglish and preparing for our family christmas party.

yesterday i woke up at 11:39 to two tragic text messages

about the provo tabernacle. 

i ate lucky charms for breakfast and spent the entire day,

well, until 3:17,

sitting on the couch with my mom.

we each had our own fleece blanket and couch.

we just sat there,

looked at each other and talked.

it was golden.

i miss my mommy talks.

she's kiiind of my best friend.

i miss her when i'm gone.

but now i'm home

and it's good.

have no fear.

remember that one time i said something to the effect of:

"i think i lost my mother"?

well it's okay.

i got her to love me again.

i know this because that night

we watched a documentary on the beatles

followed by john lennon: declassified.

during the documentary she said

"that yoko was everywhere!"

das wassup.

my madre is the shizz.

skanky lips.

tonight i left my house wearing red lipstick.

my mom looked at me and said

"this isn't my brissa, with the red lips."

i think i just got disowned.

please note the smile i use to hide my tears. 

i would like to add that i have been wearing these "skanky lips" {as my sister likes to call them}

since the end of summer.

i have no idea why it came as a "sudden shock."  

let's hope she takes me back.  

welcome back.

post edit:: freaking finally getting around to this. 
..........................

i hope you each had a wonderful weekend.

mine was everything i hoped it would be.

friday = date night with my brother. 

i called it the last supper.

we went to texas roadhouse.

the rolls lived up to all the hype.

"orgasmical."

we downed our salads and sides 

{i got mashed potatoes. i think i'm obsessed}, 

took our roadkill steaks to go and went to go see the social network.

there were far too many "adults" present and 

i don't think they understood half the jokes.

saturday = costco with madre, fader and the blexican.

i love the feeding frenzy that happens on saturday mornings.

oh and i finally got the new eyeballs i desperately needed.

p.s. CHRISTMAS IS OFFICIALLY IN COSTCO!!!

 we went shoe shopping for mamacita.

i got the coooolest boccasins in the entire world.

boccasins = boot/moccasins.

they're tre comfy.

james and i stopped by my favorite deseret industries to get a fur coat

we also found THREE unicorn costumes.

krizzle and i helped get ashley ready for the big dance.

she looked HOTT.

watched  the {original} karate kid with papa + mami + jamie.

mr. miyagi is a scary drunk.

sunday = incredible.

i spent the first two hours of church in the nursery with mom.

i loved being with the little kids.

sunday afternoon was a really special time for my family.

i felt the Spirit so strongly.

mami and i talked a lot.

ash and i played dress up in her prom dresses.

dad called me weird {more than once}.

i continued on my battle to finish mockingjay.

left home and got back to provo.

had a rendezvous with the wolf-pack.

aahh wooooo.

introduced the joys of the best.corndog.ever to a cafe west virgin.

i hope you had a delightful weekend.

xoxo. brizzle

i'm the worst daughter in the whole wide world.

i didn't write a post about the birth of an angel.

it was on 09.13 and i missed it.

i forgot because i went home to celebrate with her.

i drove home, hugged her, kissed her cheeks and told her that i loved her.

and i know that's no excuse, but still...

i love you mami.

you're incredible.

the best friend i could have ever asked for.

the most loving, giving and caring person i know.

beautiful and funny and spicy.

you love all your children.

you give of your time.

you listen.

you care.

if i can grow up to be a fraction of the woman/mother you are,

i'll be happy.

you're my angel.

you have saved me so many times.

you've never given up.

with me. with life. with anything.

you are my hero.

 

te amo mi reina.

por favor disculpame por olvidar escribir te un blog.

tu sabes que te quiero.

ere la mejor mami en todo el mundo.

te amo mi reina.

con un poqito de sal y un poqito de azucar.

five dollars please.

remember when my baby brother had an ice pack face?

remember how i bet you 5 dollahs madre would call?

well, she did.

the conversation went as follows:

mother:  20

daughter:  what?

mother:  20 dollars! 

daugher:  hahahaha

mother:  how could you put those pictures on the internet?! and with names and everything!  brissa, people can see that!

daughter:  mami, it's okaay.  don't worry.  james called me, is he okay?

mother:  oh, he's not happy about those pictures.

daugther:  well, sucks to be him.

mother:  i can't believe you put those pictures up...but my boy is so handsome, isn't he?

daughter:  haha, mom, he's drugged!

mother:  i know, but still.

**disclaimer:  i do not under any circumstances call my mami 'mother' this was purely for script purposes.**

pay up kid{s}, momma's gotsta pay the bills.

in case you didn't catch that:

you = kid = out five bones

me = momma = a billion bones richer
{because i have that many readers...hahaha}

mamacita.

sorry for missing yesterday,

i was too busy spending time with you in real life.

feliz dia de madre mi reina.

gracias por ser mi mejor amiga.

tu eres increible.

tu vida es un ejemplo por mi.

quiero ser una madre como tu eres.

gracias por ensenar me como hablar, escribir, expresar me.

gracias por tu fe y poder.

te amo mi reina.

i'm sorry for all the mistakes in this little post. so please don't judge me too harshly.

i love you mami.

so, so much.