wiiknd: we spent three hours watching movie trailers. it was perfect.

laundry + cleaning for mama.

hospital.

parenthood catch up.
daddy = home.

baby hugs heal.

overboard.

speed cleaning.

pizza breakdown.

floods of tears.

real talk.

understanding + patience + love.
so much love.

double time.

"i hate people."

easter egg hunt.

deviled eggs.

old navy stock up.

"just let me spoil you."

hospital.
so much improvement.

"wait! when we have kids, i'm not allowed to whine. :("

sandwiches.

late night snack heavennn.

red.

bruce willis crush, reignited.

movie trailer marathon. 

bed at 1:45.

sleep until 11:21.

whispered "happy easter"s.

donnie darko pancakes.

girls.

"i'm sorry you married a hipster."
church in ogden.
baby giggles during serious talks.
myrtle manor.
new potatoes + scorched butter heaven.
worst cooks finale.

|   |   |   |   |   |   |

food and tv
basically sum up my life.
and i'm completely okay with that.

24 to 48 hours. that's what they said.

my abuelito is in the hospital.

my 95 year old grandpa

who talks like he's in the mafia,

blasts his music like a teenager,

and cheats at blackjack,

 is sick.

he's sick

and he's not getting better.

i'm afraid if he goes,

the floodgates will open

and heaven will call all my favorites 

home.

i'm not ready for this.

i'm not ready for death to start playing.

i'm not ready to say goodbye.

it feels selfish of me to keep saying "i"

like i'm the only one that hurts.

and it's unfair to focus on future losses

that shouldn't even be thoughts.

but that's what death does.

it knocks and knocks 

and forces you to listen.

 it rips open your heart and injects 

a fear that spreads like fire.

my mom,

my angel of a mother,

has been taking care of him

round the clock for over a year.

she is so strong.

she is so sweet.

she is so selfless.

i don't know how she does it.

watching my uncle cry,

listening to my mom and her siblings

talk to him about everyday things

like shaving or summer plans,

trying to convince him everything is okay

adds salt to the wound.

i never thought i'd think

95 is too young.

but it is.

it really, really is.

wiiknd: the worst thing about not living at home is not having access to ridiculous amounts of thanksgiving leftovers.

thanksgiving.

cheesecake baking.

ogden dinner.

face stuffing.

baby holding.

centerville dessert.

stuffing battle.

christmas tree searching.

"i miss mathew."

6:07 natural alarm.

cleaning.

furniture returning.

errands.

baby cuddling.

"you are my sunshine."

so.much.love.

christmas vacation.

early to rise.

costco run = sample fail.

fake snow.

classy frames.

baby cuddling.

monster onesie.

little kicks.

pancake breakfast.

morning meeting.

emotionally unstable.

full heart.

miracle whip gag reflex.

baby cuddling

real talk.

trust + hugs + safe + understood.

every day i thank the heavens

i married my best friend.

oh my bebez...

they know me so well. 

wiiknd: "i can't believe this is a day food place!"

bk meh.
backyard movie by kylee.
tired by 10:30.
"you guys are already an old married couple."
car dance party.
late night parent chats.

invitation pick-up.
dress shopping with mama. 

new apartment key.
cazj. cazj. cazj.
imgur.
dorm life.
long goodbye.

outfit salutes.
ox in the mire.

reclining love seat lusting.
goodbye hugs to papa.
sunday nap.
interview.
fancy key copies. 
"for sale" sign, posted.
imgur.
cranberry chicken.
invitation stuffing.
labels from hell.
facetime impersonations.
just a few more days.

wiiknd: "gingerr in aaaaall white"

picnic in the park.

dilly bar.

picture searching.

meltdown.

house hunters.

bakery hopping.

flower picking.

lamp post approved.

vintage kitchen swag.

errands.

drive-by.

yard work.

sassly's clone.

dorm life.

family chats until 3:30 in the am.

farewell.

invitation remix.

luncheon menu finalization.

grandma's jewelry store. 

family party.

"american mexican."

baby playtime.

arizona talk. 

dorm life.
tired eyes and long goodbyes.

wiiknd: an episode of chopped made me cry

breakfast for dinner.

chopped.

couch conversations.

quiet night perfection. 

registering.

lazer gun shooting. 

unusually spicy chicken.

dogfunk.

belt searching.

engagement outfit planning.

stunna shades purchased.

chopped: class act.

purple drank.

couch-ridden.

operation evacuate eduardo.

never-ending tiredness. 

pep talks for eduardo.

all day cuddle session. 

afternoon naps.

logos quiz domination.

seinfeld.

purple dress + spicy skin.

cinnamon roll croissants. 

blanket wrapping.

pit-stop at the lair.

drink purchasing.

grave visiting.

electrolytes restored.

backyard conversations.

american ninja warrior.

meat monday.

six-column game.

"victorian housecat."

"voogle."

"don't put sally."

if it weren't for iphones, i would have no pictures of my life.

 afternoon is blackjack time.

everyone knows that.

we play with quarters.

we play for keeps. 

we're kind of big deals.

like seven-hand winning streak big.

das wassup. 

please explain how she makes faces, snaps pictures,
and still looks flawless
while i end up with horrors.
{see next picture for proof}.

occasionally, sass will text me to see if i'm home for the weekend.
instead of being boring and replying with words,
i like to send a picture that gets my message across.
"not only am i home, i'm in your bed. partying with tiny and ernie. suckaaa."

 if i had her style/hair/steez when i was her age,
high school might have been less traumatizing.

i step out of the crafty closet about once a year. 

this year's adventure was for a valentine's card. 

the bottom half read, 

"you're meowsome."

it's a kitty.
literally scratching.
i died.

reasons to love today.

i'm only working two hours today.

i get to spend those two hours

wrapping christmas presents 

while lip syncing to christmas music.

the only class i have today is my cooking class.

i'm making an apple pie.

from scratch.

and i get to use the 

apple corer/peeler/slicer machine.

you have no idea how excited i am.

no idea.

by three o'clock

i will be on the road

headed north

for the rest of the week.

that being said,

my virtual status remains undetermined.

i may be here or i may be eating my weight

in mashed potatoes, stuffing and yams,

setting up christmas with my mama,

helping prepare a feast with papa,

learning the latest youtube dance with krizz,

dress shopping with my cracker,

or entering every sweep-stake imaginable with jamie.

idk.

it's whatevs.

so in case i don't see you,

good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

sidenote: 

i promise to have actual pictures to show you when i get back.

just so you know i haven't turned into a robot or zombie or anything.

the second happiest day of the year.

last thursday, the following conversation took place.
papa: are you excited for monday?
brissa: yes, it's my second favorite day of the year.
papa: what's you're first favorite?
brissa: the first installment of this day.

in the porter household,

we end the summer the same way we start it.

with a little thing we like to call,

meat monday.

memorial day and labor day

are the holy grail of barbecued meats.

i should apologize for not having any pictures of the meat,

but, it was gone before we set it on the table.
yes, it was that good.
and on meat monday,
ribs > pictures.
 ALWAYS .

i thought about going into a more detailed
description of the ribs because of their mmmMMMMmm factor,
then i realized i didn't want to offend/gross out any vegetarians
with the potentially graphic manner of this post.

so for all you carnivores out there,
just know it was like a piece of heaven
rubbed in heaven,
smoked to perfection
by the clouds of heaven
and dipped in the most incredible
sauce made with real [happy] angel tears.
because they too
were celebrating this day. 

reasons i'm the favorite.

i buy my babies stunna shades,

brightly colored sundresses,

mail them secret notes 

and to top it all off, i'm super fun to text.

please note, my phone auto corrected 

that word to "disown."

i have no intention of disowning any of my babies.

in fact, if i had it my way,

 i'd make them all live

within a five mile radius 

so i could play with them every day. 

fact.

you know you're home when you go to the fridge,

grab a piece of cheese

and there's already a bite taken out.

ilovemyfamily. 

good x a billion

my trip north was lovely.

i got to spend some much needed time with my family.

after dropping g-unit off with her sister,

i commandeered the front seat and put my ipod on blast.

jamie, ash and i spit like karmin and sang it with cee lo.

ash and i belted some adele,

 daddy joined me in singing along with dawn

and jamie and i finished the session with a little bob.

daddy took us to texas roadhouse for dinner.

their rolls are like manna from above.

i would have never thought to get anything other than steak, 

but mama and i both got salads

 and were pleasantly surprised by their deliciousness.

we finished the night off by watching dual survival

and alternating between killing stupid zombie[s] 

and battling it out on scrabble.

the next morning,

 sass had me do her hair before we headed out.

{i don't think my obsession with braids will ever stop}.

on the drive to pick up flowers for grandpa's grave,

ash and i introduced jamie to ni-ni and miss ultimate sexy baby.

it was so good to see our idaho family

and visit grandpa's grave. 

after our traditional cemetery visit and freeze out

{idaho's winds are beyond bitter and the cut like little knives},

we headed to aunt beth's for lunch.

jamie, ash and i stole borrowed mama's camera 

for a hipster photo shoot and explored the farm.

note to self:  get photos from mom's camera and upload them.

after back-to-back games of tag and duck-duck-goose

with some of the cutest children ever, 

i went for a stroll by the canal, climbed a potato cellar,

checked out a pile of old tires, breathed fresh air,

walked along the edge of growing potatoes,

thought, dreamed and smiled.

as much i say i despise idaho

for it's lack of excitement and bitter cold,

it's truly a beautiful place where anyone can find peace.

gameplan

work until two.

drive to apartment.

pack.

drive home.

hug family.

use the facilities.

switch cars.

drive.

sleep.

drive.

chit-chat.

drive.

arrive in the land of potatoes.

stretch.

sleep.

reeeeaddy

break.

and how!

 once upon a time, i went home for four days

and had a party in the davis county.

wicka whhhhat.

don't believe me? 

feast your eyeballs.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.

 mami is obsessed con su "leche de soya."

it's a murky gray/brown and gives me the creeps.

 this is officially my favorite skirt/shirt combo.

seat belt not included. 

jamie and i went to iggy's for some cobb salad goodness.

i told myself next time i go, i'm ordering these.

 sass made me wake up at 6 am on my last day of break to curl her hair.

six.ay.em. 

good thing i love my cracker. 

i found this baby at target and almost bought it when i said to myself,

"no, brissa! no! you and beth are going to be crafty this summer.

put the necklace down and walk away."

i found this shirt while shopping with khyrie.

it's discovery made my love for forever xxi grow tenfold.

 

oh, i love home. 

h.o.m.e.

here is why being home roxors my boxors*

clean laundry.

delicious food.

disney channel.

"stealing" candy from grandma.

shopping dates with kay.

belting adele with sass.

chats with momma.

acting for papanua.

listening to jamie talk stocks.

reading the latest nat geo.

a dishwasher that actually works.

cleaning and organizing.

aaah yes, this is the life. 

*please note i do not wear boxers. 

brutal honesty from a high school junior.

friday night, i stood huddled with my family around the community desktop

while ashley showed us susan boyle's britain's got talent audition.

i turned to james and said,

"next year, we're auditioning for american idol."

as soon as i finished my sentence, ashley whipped her head toward me

and started laughing so hard her face turned red and she stopped breathing.

i think i saw a tear or two escape her eye.

talk about the worst reality check ever.

i guess i'm more tone-deaf than i thought...

low rise

oh how i love them.

chronological order.

|[10:13 am]|

every member of my family came to wake me up one at a time.

ashley came to steal my pizzle to play games.

mom clawed scratched my back lovingly.

james yelled my name.

dad bounced my bed and screamed "earthquake!!"

it was like the ultimate high school flashback.

|[11:07 am]|

ash had a regional basketball game.

they dominated 36 - 10 with only five girls.

while they dominated on the court we had a gangsta photoshoot.

mom did not approve.

instead of flashing gang signs for fear of being hunted down and jumped,

she went with the always classy miss america wave. 

|[11:41 am]|

at this point in the game we started yelling out things like,

"get a touchdown!" "gooooaallll!" "get it in the pipes!"

"come on!! give us a hat trick!" and "homerun!"

we were definitely the loudest people there. 

|[11:57 am]|

jamie introduced me to our new best friend.

it's like a cross between Jesus and Joseph Smith.

weird. 

|[12:03 am]|

while ashley and i waited outside for mom, dad and james to stop socializing,

a father of a girl on the other team came out, congratulated ashley and said,

"you guys did great. you'll probably take it all."

to which she laughed and said, "we can only hope."

what the cocky?!

|[12:07 pm]|

the "adults" stopped talking and we headed home. 

dad told me to never get old because getting old sucks.

jamie and i started singing cute is what we aim for songs. 

|[12:13pm]|

ashley dominated at wii bowing

and james cleaned out at wii golf.

dad did pretty well on solitaire. 

i love my house on saturday mornings. 

my cheeks hurt from smiling.

yesterday was hectic.

i wrote two articles in an hour,

finished up an audio news story in two  

and went home to eat my first meal of the day

 at 3:56 in the afternoon.

then i had to study.study.study for my media law midterm.

i took a power nap that really only lasted twenty minutes.

it.was.glorious.

i survived my midterm and walked away fairly confident.

then i hopped in my car and drove home.

all the way home.

care to know why?

okay.

it's because this face

this sweet, sweet face came home.

granted, it's not the happiest of circumstances,

{his foot is messed and the physical therapy down in mexico is not cutting it. there is a chance he might need surgery but hopefully some intense rounds of physical therapy and rest will make him good as new so he can get back out.}

but it's still good.

hearing his voice, hugging him, sitting next to him at the dinner table,

laughing with him, looking at mission pictures, just talking with him

was so.good.

it's quite surreal.

it felt like i was dreaming. 

it felt like the best dream ever.