i work here.

i'm going to start praying now
that my future babies
will be this amazing.

best.graduation.present.link.ever.
three cheers for bethie.
the girl who never disappoints when it comes to videos.

ice cream cones make me ponder.

yesterday beth and i went on a bike ride

and officially licensed our wheels.
we took a detour on the way back home
and stopped by macey's for ice cream.
the chocolate wasn't working,
so i opted for vanilla instead of my usual twist.
as i enjoyed my cone i thought of what kelli said a few weeks ago.
she's 100% right,
ice cream is a happiness machine.

i was also grateful for the invention of the cone.
because of it, i was able to finish my half-eaten soft-serve
while cruising back to my apartment.
so let's give a shout out and a huge thank you
to my homie ernest hamwi

for being quick on his feet in 1904
so i could finish my cone and ride my bike in 2011.

back to my tale of frozen goodness.
the portions are incredible.
a small will last you a twenty minute conversation
and a three minute bike ride
or half a grocery shopping trip.
and for fifty cents flat,
that much soft-serve is too good to pass up.

even though i always order a small,
i have promised myself
before i leave this town,
i will buy and take on the kong cone.
partly to be able to tell my children i did,
mostly to see how many days it will take to eat.
some of you might laugh and say,
"but brissa, it's just an ice cream cone,
it shouldn't take you days to eat."

so, to all you doubters/haters/naysayers
i challenge you to a kong contest.
you buy one.
i'll buy one.
the spectators will gather
and as i take my sweet time enjoying my mountain of ice cream
 you will prove me wrong
and finish your cone in one sitting.

oh, and before i forget,
this is what it looks like.

filled from the cup to the cone

{nervous man not included}.

what i learned during my three day stint on a boat.

1. twizzlers in a warm car smell like puke.
2. never take your chapstick on a boat unless it's in a ziploc baggie or lake water will keep coming out of it for days.
3. being afraid of heights and climbing up a giant sand hill only to realize you have to run down it at full speed is not smart.  unless falling down five times (either purposefully or accidentally) sounds like fun.
4. gorp is golden. 
5. beth is the female fredette. 
6. whenever playing p-i-g always go after dan.
7. speed scrabble is stressful and worth every random letter.  
8. bathing in a lake is an experience everyone should have. it's amazing.
9. i need a hybrid.  we only filled up once the entire trip. it cost thirty dollars.
10. water fights between two boats in a channel are beyond intense and worth every bruise you get.
11. riddles and brain games should warrant a college degree. i'd have a doctorate. 
12. do you know the petals around the rose?
13. greed/zilch is far too intense to be a simple dice game. 
14. the name of the game is snaps.  snaps is the name of the game.
15. pizza named after andy warhol and harry potter discussions in the night air are priceless.
16. when you get slap happy at eleven p.m. you know you're tired.
17. there is nothing better than gliding on water*.  nothing.
    *please keep in mind it was my first time ever on a wakeboard, and i only got up four times and stayed up for three-four seconds at most, but it was amazing and enough to get me hooked.   
18. gas stations in fillmore like to play classics like bbmak's back here.  
19. not having a cellphone for four days is a breath of fresh air.
20. nothing beats the adrenaline rush you get jumping from tube to tube during your first tube war battle. 
21. sometimes a throwback to high school music is necessary: yellowcard, simple plan, green day, mika. 
22. i want to dry my hair while sitting on the front of a boat every day. 
23. when the boys were in charge of picking music they selected the following: the click five, the moulin rouge soundtrack and sarah bareilles.  
24. decision making was finally achieved.
25. unknown is not worth your time. truuuuuust me. 
26. lake powell is one of the most beautiful places i have ever seen.
27. hiking and climbing up rocks then jumping off a house boat is the only way to go.
28. next time, when standing on the edge of a "mini" cliff, just jump. waiting only increases anxiety.
29. i never want to wear pants again.
30. costume ideas cemented and harry potter plans set. let the party begin.  
31. apparently saying "duplicates" or "multiples" when referring to twins is unacceptable. 
32. i never want to get ready for the day ever again. 
33. i have the greatest friends ever. 
34. as much as i love being able to talk to my family and shower in hot water, i wish i never had to leave.  

once again, i apologize for the lack of photographic evidence, 

but life was too good for those four days to stop and snap a moment.  

i'm back and not quite black,

but brown is good enough for me. 

the facts are these.

1. i am officially old.  i just can't go to midnight showings and be in the office at eight the next same morning like i used to. it's impossible.

 2. i'm pretty sure there is a dog living in the apartment above mine.  i keep hearing these strange puppy cries and yawn-ish whines.
3. despite their best efforts to teach me to finish my homework before having fun, i ignored my parents last night and left for the movie with only half of my homework done. {five bucks says i'll get a call from one, or both, of them asking me why i didn't finish my homework before i left.  mami will tell me i need sleep so i don't age prematurely and dad will either say "choices....consequences..." or ask if it was worth it}. 

4. last night {well, technically, i guess it was this morning} beth and i gchatted and all i could talk about was how i wanted one blonde haired, blue eyed cherub and a mutant baby. unfortunately, due to my dominant genetics, neither of those will be possible. 

exhibit b.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaaaah

it's not funnny.

my eye.

it twitches.

hahaha

i can't fix it!!

drink some milk

eat a banana

all gone.

no more.

uughhhh.

is it a potassium deficiceincy?

*defficiency

haha no

dificiency

deficiency

WTF

I HATE ENGLISH

deficiency

yes

last one

still hate englith

bahaah

DANGIT

DANT IT

DANGIT

haaaaa

told you i wasn't kidding when i said i couldn't spell.

exhibit a.

brown and yellow. brown and yellow.

besto is leaving me on monday.

she's going to india to save lives for a month. 

everyone keeps asking me 

what i'm going to do.

i wish they'd stop asking

because i still have no idea.

on a brighter note, 

i am now accepting applications

for replacement bff-lizzles for the month of june.

.requirements.

own a bicycle or a set of wheels.

preferably wheels powered by your legs and not an engine. 

have an incredible amount of patience.

apparently i get annoying and sing cher's believe whenever i get bored. 

be able to decipher my text messages.

i often misspell things and never fix them. 

own a macbook.

that way i can take beautiful pictures.

let's be honest,

the wheels are the only real requirement

and the rest are just bonus points. 

like a loaded potato, but with words.

friday.

my broken toes and i went to my cousin's wedding

in five inch heels and my yellow dress.

ashley, beth and jamie's date were the only blonde's there. 

'twas quite comical.

aside from dancing and watching a very enthusiastic 

white man dance an energetic salsa,

we ate delicious food and sipped on

what may just be the best drank ever.

 i must regrettably admit i am not sporting a double black eye in the photo above.
the stupid lights made me appear to be more legit than i am.
but one day people...one day i will rock the black eye like nobody's biznass.
after the reception,

we headed over to target so i could buy baby clothes

for my bff's baby shower the next day.

it was then i realized the fullness of my disease.
 it's official. 
baby sections in any store are harmful to my health.
{iwantababy.iwantonelikewoah.}

 saturday.

i finished bossypants.

it was brilliant.

i love tina fey more than words can express.

later that afternoon i went to sid's baby shower.
i won a lint roller and a pack of m&m's.
i gave the chocolate covered candies
to bethie and scottopher when i got home.
we spent the better part of an hour
in the same room, playing games on our pizzles
and speaking to or about our games.
i introduced scott to galaxy puzzle and bubble shooter;
two of what i thought to be the best games ever.
boooy was i wrong.
he introduced me to

 best.game.ever.
i can honestly say it has been the best 99 cents i have ever spent.
we went to jimmy john's with bree

and i wanted to slap my face for never trying their sandwiches before.
sogood.
after supper we headed back to bree's
so i could use free wifi to download tiny wings
while beth and bree painted their nails.
after waiting for hot pink paint to dry
we sped over to dan and craig's
for the maiden voyage of their new projector.
we thought we were going to watch
diary of a wimpy kid
but instead, they popped in
this bad boy.
it's even better the second time around.
after the movie,
beth, scott, bree and i went to coldstone.
scott ordered oatmeal cookie batter, cookie dough and cinnamon.
when i first heard that combination i grimaced.
then i tried it and
mama mia, that's-a-good-a-flavor!
 sunday.
after a free lunch with delicious strawberries
we laid out to read play tiny wings.
i looked up in the middle of my game 
to see weezy walking toward us.
we chatted for a good while and caught up on life.
after some more sunshine loving and tiny winging,
beth and i made dinner for some friends.
fyi world:
crissa makes the best desserts ever.
beth, bree and i went for a post-dinner bike/scooter ride
around the town.
after being followed around the library by a homeless man,

we rode to our hearts content in the maze that is 

underground parking. 

 
sslbijhtdhamww.
{sorry so long, but i just had to document how awesome my weekend was}

and this is why we're bestos.

me:  kkk bedtime maybe. yes. probably.

hahaha

aahahha

ahahaa

 Bethanie:  kkkkkkkkk

 me:  ily. sut

 Bethanie:  i want you to know

 me:  *syt

yes?

 Bethanie:  syt?

 me:  see you tomorrow. duh.

 Bethanie:  see you tomorrow

got it

ily2

 me:  want me to know?

 Bethanie:  syttttt

 me:  are you mokcin my studder?

?!?!!? :(

 Bethanie:  that i was about to climb in bed

no

no

no

 me:  haha jk.

 Bethanie:  no

 me:  hahaha

jjk

j-j-kkkkk

KI

hahaha

 Bethanie:  when i got your email

me:  i was just mockin git.

SORRY!!!!!!

 Bethanie:  so i didnt

 me:  OH I:M SORRY

RELLY.

jenguinly sorry

 Bethanie:  stopppp

 me:  and sorry i'm dyslexic.

 Bethanie:  and learn to spell

 me:  but i'm honesly SO GLAD

SO GLAD

you can understand.

EVERYTHIGN i say

 Bethanie:  hahaha

it's true

 me:  i just get so excited.

too excited when i type

and i get all ummples'

 Bethanie:  haha

 me:  sorry.

 Bethanie:  go to bed

 me:  jumjbled

dangit

jumbled!

 Bethanie:  beeed

byyyye

 me:  wah. hahah kkk bye.

 Bethanie:  loveyougoodnightsleeptightdon'tletthebedbugsbite

 me:  this summer: learn to spell.

 Bethanie:  oh wait

 me:  learn to space

 Bethanie:  #beforethat

 me:  EYS TIWTTER

 Bethanie:  haahahaha

 me:  danigt

danagit

w;lkheyyyyyh

whyyyyyyyyy can't i spell

 Bethanie:  hahaahahha

sleep

night

 me:  nite

by way of announcement.

iggy's has the best bacon of all time.

i swear every time beth, kay and i are in the same city 

we get our bacon fix.

as of right now, it's the best blt of my life.

bacon + swinging + bestos + the meow meow mix jingle

is the best way to spend a saturday.

ultimate face palm.

"wait, judas is the one who cut off jesus' ear right?"

as soon as i said that beth and james just stared at me.

mouths hanging open, eyes bulging out of their sockets

and disbelief furrowing their brow.

i thought for sure i was right.

they messaged khyrie to have her mock me via text and this was her response,

"picasso cut off his ear. smarty."

{just a little fy-izzle, i knew it was van gough.}

we're definitely sisters.

 i get the ear chopper mixed up and she gets a completey different century.

because i was so determined to believe jesus healed his own ear

it took james and beth ten minutes to teach me basic gospel.

i was set straight after half the people at the party

heard about my "theory."

much good that religious education has done me.

bestfridayever.

remember this?

lemmebreakitdownfuhya.

fiesty had a birthday.

we made a billion cupcakes.

our success made us want to open a shop called "consider yourself sprinkled."

because we're cool like that. 

really though.

with stunna shades, asterisks, at signs, dollar signs,

 hash marks, get some and jersey shore references

i think we'd make bank.

i believe the gangster demographic is not represented in the cupcake industry.

have no fear my thugs, i hear you and i will represent you.

we're going to practice all summer and make the best baby cakes ever.

the rest of the night was spent dancing away.

i'm not exaggerating when i tell you it was

the.best.dance.party.ever.

i base this solely on the fact that i never stopped dancing

and i woke up the next morning unable to move my neck, shoulders or back.

the music and i became one.

it was truly magical.

good tunes. good friends. good cakes.

yeah we do it right in le tigre.

wicka whhat?!

oh, and for another indicator of how good our party was,

the following were left behind. 

spicy.

party and party and yeah

saturday was my favorite day of march.

the festival of colors.

this year was so much better than last year.

beth and ash were very patient with my motherly obsession of taking their pictures.

those are my homemade snooki shades for halloween. 

clearly i didn't have time to add the rhinestones. 

this is my "angry bethanie" series. 

ashley loved the llamas. so much.

ashley looked like such a hipster with her bandana.

i love my crackers. 

on the walk back to the car my friend damien decided it would be funny

to pour the entire contents of a purple color bag on my head.

i kind of love it and wish i could dye my hair purple.

but according to khyrie i can't because it's "not professional."

i'm also considering bringing back green eye shadow. 

i love these children with all my heart.

viva le krishna!

oh don't worry

we just threw the best party known to man.

ca-ching!!

brown on brown.

i love/hate it when my friends have get some dreams for me.

hate it because...

a. it's a dream and not real life

b. it's not my dream.

love it because...

a. i get freaked out texts from a scarred bethie

b. it makes her feel uncomfortable when i talk about my skillz.

c. her saying,  "it was GROSS. i really don't ever want to see you make out. 

even in a dream," was one of the best texts of the day.

verbatim

beth: i'm thinking about changing my facebook name to bethanie.

brissa: i'm thinking about changing mine back to basilisk or freeka.

...an awkward silence and judgmental stare later...

beth: you're weird

domo. domo.

i have the coolest friends ever.

last saturday i went home and missed a party.

i got this picture message of beth at said party.

this is sheer brilliance. 

this is why we're best friends. [well, at least in my mind....]

the following conversation happened on facebook chat.

brissa: i have a secret for you.
          i went out last night.
                                     CLARIFICATION: i did not get some.

story told.


beth: how did i not hear you?
                i went out last night too.  
                                 CLARIFICATION: i did not get some.

BEANS!!!

last week i went to iggy's with my bff-lizzles.

i ordered the blt with avocado.

it.was.heaven.

their bacon is best.EVER.

i want it now.

geez i feel like beans.

fun fact:  my initials are blp. in high school my friends and i were talking and i said something along the lines of "if i marry a man who's last name starts with 't' my initials will be blt..."  as a result of this revelation everyone started calling me bacon. 

my brain has a "shut down" button i don't know about.

yesterday as i was walking down the hill from class to work i fell.

i don't know how it happened.

i didn't trip or anything.

i just...collapsed.

and i'm not talking a "whoopsie! i seem to have fallen" fall.

i'm talking about a full on fall.

my glasses came off. 

my watch came undone.

my phone fell to the asphalt with my mom continuing our conversation.

i felt like moses because the sea of people walking around me parted.

a few kids asked me if i was okay.

i mumbled a "yeah i'm fine" while keeping my eyes to the ground.

i was so tired and tempted to just lay down on the hill and take a nap.

i decided this would result in my being trampled to death by those eager

zoobs trying so hard to make it to class on time and began collecting my things. 

i was just about to get up and i noticed this young man just waiting by my side.

what the what?

he waited until i was fully up and attempted to make eye contact as he said

"are you okay?"

i gave him a strange look that said 

"did you really just wait for me to stand all the way up to ask me that question?"

and said "yes i am thank you."

then i walked to work.

both of my knees are bruised and i have a slight scrape on my right elbow.

i told beth and she freaked out.

apparently collapsing isn't a good thing.

she asked me if my body was okay and all i could say was

"yeah, it was just my points that got hurt."

life lessons learned through checkers.

sometimes when we get bored at church we play games.

by we i mean bethie and i.

and guess what?

i'm a winner.