homemade band-aid.

a few weeks ago, 

my left thumb got sliced pretty good.

i expected the bleeding to stop after a few seconds

but it felt like continuing.

i found and opened my first-aid kid one handed

and searched for some band-aids.

i couldn't find any.

isn't that how it always works?

instead, i found gauze and medical tape.

i took this opportunity to exercise my 

emt-b skillz from high school.

i folded, taped and felt like macgyver.

after i took and nashvilled the shizz out of this picture for posterity,

i went to put my surgical tools away.

you'll never guess what i found at the bottom of my kit.

five band-aids. 

#fml

attn: google+

i haaaaate you.

i deleted my picasa web albums 

because i didn't want that junk all over my profile.

seems reasonable, right?

well, as it turns out,

when you delete your web albums,

it deletes the pictures you have on your blog.

!?!?!!??!wtf!?!?!!??!

now i'm going to have to go back and insert pictures where they got erased.

so if i accidentally clog up your reader, 

i'm sorry.

if it gets to be too annoying,

i'll bake you a cupcake,

build you a robot,

or give you a unicorn. 

i have honestly, never wanted to junk cut something this bad.

#$@!)@($!()@*#%&!@#*(

there is a bald man sitting to my left who sneezes a lot.

i really, truly hate homework.

especially when i can't focus.

even more so when my assignments are due tomorrow 

and i've barely started. 

written on my wrist is my to-do list. 

it may look small,

but each of those lines are a chapter i have to read,

a summary i have to write and some "personal reflections"

i have to make up because, let's be real, 

no one actually reflects while reading a text book.  

in other news, 

if i were to ever permanently ink myself,

a fingerstache on my left index finger would be number one

and an empty to-do list on my left wrist would be number two.

partly because i usually write lists on my wrist so it'd be practical

and mostly because i have a hard time writing straight without lines.

{okay, it's mostly for that reason. i'm ocd when it comes to writing straight lines.}

god bless college-ruled paper

and god bless america. 

attn: bosslady

stop rearranging my task list.

just because it works for you 

doesn't mean it works for me.

it's my list.

!!!hands off!!!

this is not worth nine dollars an hour. 

party animal.

monday night i played the cowbell

in an addam's family theme song revival band.

and shed a tear when i couldn't go to seven peaks 

for free the next day because of a group meeting. 

tuesday night i sat in a chair in the basement 

of la biblioteca until 11:11 doing homework

and taking a ridiculous amount of pictures.

only to go home and continue studying until two.

wednesday night i will tell myself 

to take a break and enjoy a tall glass

of simply lemonade and eat some strawberries

while watching psych. 

thursday night i will sit in a dark theatre

watching the campus version of anne frank

while taking notes for the write-up i have to do.

friday night i will most likely

lock myself up in the library and work on

my abstract for a ten-page ethnography

and study for my comms 351 final both due on monday.

the morning after

i don't understand.

yesterday was perfect.

the sunshine.

the bike ride.

the light breeze.

i thought things were great.

i can see now that i was wrong. 

i really wish you would have told me.

maybe dropped a hint or two.

then i could have done something.

i could have stopped you from leaving.

but you didn't.

you were selfish and decided to venture out into the world.

my heart broke this morning

when i realized you were gone.

how could you do this to me?

how could you do this to penelope?

she's just a child.

i think she cried this morning when i was forced to take her back inside.

you know how much she relies on you to get around.

luckily you're replaceable and i hadn't grown too attached.

i'm going to follow in sexy johnny's footsteps

and do it much faster than you ever could have imagined.

like today.

right after class.

i'm going to march right into smith's,

walk straight to isle 7

and pick out a brand new lock.

one that won't leave me mid-bike ride without warning.

jerk.

attn: crazy face

do me a favor,

stop.

stop forcing it or weaseling your way in.

i can promise you won't be successful.

no matter how hard you try

or how much you ask/plan/beg,

it's never going to happen.

ever.

so, stop.

you only end up annoying me more than you already do

and looking like an over-eager child. 

thank you and goodbye.

attn: bosslady

thank you so much

for printing out the new directory,

walking it to my desk

and asking me to replace the old directory

in your contacts binder,

located in the cabinet above your desk.

if there's anything else i can do for you,

please, feel free to bring it to me,

walk back to your desk, sit

and watch me do something that would have taken 

literally 27 seconds for you to do yourself.

sincerely, 

your faithful servant

your part-time assistant,

brissa

wakka wakka.

is it just me,

or is anyone else afraid to blog

because they're afraid all their words and pictures will go down 

the virtual toilet again?

decisions, decisions...

a blogger's prayer.

now i lay me down to sleep,

i pray the lord my blog to keep.

if it should die before i wake,

i pray my posts it doth not take.

because if you do, 

i'll junk cut you so bad

you'll wish you had a steel jockstrap. 

aaaaaamen.

death by finals.

school is literally killing me.

i'll be lucky if i get four hours of sleep in a twenty-four hour period.

i might be gone for a little bit. 

and by gone i mean i'll probably just post once a day

instead of my usual 7billion times. 

don't hate me.

please.

and now,

 a moment of silence

as we all shake our fists at the sky

and curse institutions of higher learning 

for murdering their students with finals, projects and stress.

oh, and good luck to you too.

yoooou caaan dooo iiiittt!

fail.

i hate when i wake up late for work.

then as i'm sneaking to my cubicle,

my boss comes out of it and says,

"oh hello!"

whhhhhyyyy!?!?!?

fml.

whhhyyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?!

i forgot my chapstick today.

fml.

to-do

count 500 tickets three times. 

update the spreadsheet.

write two articles

start/work/finish audio assignment

study for media law exam

paint nails.

call sources.

shakespeare reading prompt x 4.

return shakespeare dvd's to library.

wash car.

sleep.

investigative journalism assignment.

legislature assignment.

asld;kjfa;lsdkfjal;skdf

all i want to do is watch the bachelor.

billy boy, you're killing me.

i need to watch a billion shakespeare movies by monday.

i have a housing project that needs to get done.

i have a final tomorrow

and a midterm on monday.

fml.

why does life have to get really hard all at once?

can't it just take a little break?

or give me drama in installments?

i vote for seasons.

that way there can be a theme with each issue

and i'm guaranteed a dynamite finale.

aS DLFKJlkjsdflksjdfklasd

i just got this text 

i'm kind of thinking/hoping it's not.

but i honestly wouldn't put it past him.

he just told me i "should be flattered."

grreat...

if my thoughts could run they'd be marathoners.

i miss the constant presence of an imac.

it made life so much better.

sometimes i just wanna kick myself and crawl under a rock.

i'm so dumb.
fml.

there are times when i really have to stop and ask myself

"how on earth do you have friends?"

happy weekend children.

xoxo.

gossip girl

brishnak.

greenwaterbottle.

i honestly can't even think of what to write right now.

i'm tired, stressed and i overslept.

i'm supposed to go up to sundance today.

but i have to shower first.

oh whell.

such is life right?

blah.blah.blah.blah.

fml.

stupid carlos got sick again.

but this time it's worse.

it might cost me my right arm and first born.

i had to come home tonight so i could take him in tomorrow.

i don't wanna talk about it. 

beverages of champions

water for always.

nos to stay awake tonight.

xxx vitamin water to refuel for my finals tomorrow morning.