attn: boy in the silver camry

you're polite.

i get that.

but it starts to get a little extreme

when you stop for every.single.person

waiting to use the crosswalk.

they're walking home.

i think they can handle waiting three cars before crossing the street.

to be fair, 

this isn't entirely your fault.

if i left my apartment one minute earlier,

i wouldn't have been stuck behind your slowmobile

and almost late to work.

your samaritan-esque actions have inspired me 

 to follow in your polite manner

and leave you with a simple warning.

please << quit the stop-and-go >> thank you.

i really hope this encourages you to change your ways

because if i happen to be driving behind you

as you wave pedestrians on like a crosswalk lady again,

tires will be slashed.

attn: crazy face

do me a favor,

stop.

stop forcing it or weaseling your way in.

i can promise you won't be successful.

no matter how hard you try

or how much you ask/plan/beg,

it's never going to happen.

ever.

so, stop.

you only end up annoying me more than you already do

and looking like an over-eager child. 

thank you and goodbye.

quick question.

why is it that most hip-hop artists

 feel the need to state their name at the beginning of

every single song? 

i mean reaaally?

to them i'd like to say the following:

listen homie, 

in order for us to illegally download your song, 

we had to know your name.

so why don't you do everyone a favor and  
s.t.o.p. repeating it.
it's annoying and makes you look dumb.

i have taken the liberty of pointing out a few criminals.

jason derulo

jay sean and nicki minaj

usher

 just when i thought he was flawless...

ludacris 

and it wasn't even his song, 

luckily he "redeemed" himself by throwing taio's name in.

sidenote: blogger is about to get a junk punch if things don't get fixed pronto. 

oh, and a happy weekend to you all.

i'm going to a wedding tonight in a dress 

that makes me feel very jackie o.

#yeaahbuddy. 

farewell to all my friends

to the man who invented the yoplait yogurt container,

i hate you.

while your container is aesthetically appealing 

and contains delicious dairy goodness

your container itself sucks.

i am able to scrape the sides clean,

i can use my tongue to clear out yogurt from under the lip at the top,

but i cannot for the life of me salvage any of the yogurt from the bottom.

do you have any idea how much yogurt that wastes?

do you?!?!!

this much.

r.i.p. to the remains of my strawberry-kiwi breakfast.

granted i didn't try very hard and i was working with a plastic fork

but that is beside the fact.

spoon or not, your invention still sucks.

sometimes i wonder why

annoying people were given

vocal chords.

fix that shiz

i hay-hay-haaate clammy hands.

they give me the heebie-jeebies.

right now i'm sitting in my cubicle, working and freaking out.

my hands are cold but clammy. 

i can't get the moisture to leave!!

!!!A;LSKFDJLAS!!!

i also hate when you are holding hands and rico suave gets clammy hands.

can't he tell?!?!?!

i mean seriously!

if i can feel the nasty, shouldn't he be able to as well?

enter sneaky hand maneuver that allows you to still hold hands 

while allowing the clammy-clam to dry.

i'm kind of brilliant like that

and i give you full permission to use it.

you're welcome. 

gag me with a spoon.

i truly, truly hate getting one letter responses.

k.

is the worst letter in the dictionary.

it makes me feel like what i've said is dumb.

it makes me feel like you don't want to talk to me.

and it haunts me because it's what my first gentleman caller texted me before he broke my teenage heart.

and that is why i always say

kkk.

it's such a better alternative.
{via}

Choices....Consequences....

While growing up I had a tendency to ask my parents for their permission to do something and usually they would give me a straight answer. Either 'yes' or 'no'. But as I got older they stopped doing that (they probably thought my indecisiveness would turn into a chronic illness, causing me to never be able to make a decision on my own therefore forcing me into the "grown-up version" of  throwing me into the pool and telling me if I didn't want to sink and die I'd have to learn to swim) and my dad would simply reply "Choices....Consequences...." To me that is almost worse than a direct "no". Its like, "Okay dad, I know you don't want me to, but you basically said I could and all I have to do is live with the consequences."
Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy.
Oooor not...
Last night I went to the CLAS ropes course with some of my friends. So much fun. We went on the giant swing, did the leap of faith (climbing up a tree, jumping off a platform to a ring about 5-6 feet up and away from you) and we climbed up another tree, got to the top, had to walk across a "beam" and jump off. Like I said, so much fun!
We got there around 6:30 and started rope coursin it up. Since winter is coming the sun is going to bed sooner than before, by the time we got to the final tree climb/jump off it was getting dark. Unfortunately baby demons also come out at night, especially when you're by a river like we were. The demons I speak of are mosquitoes.
i hate mosquitoes.
Some are able to eat, drink, and be merry until I smack them while others (evil little buggers) follow the same system and get away freely. Dang gina. This morning while I was getting ready for work I couldn't help but survey the results from last nights battle. I think they won. This is where I can see/feel the battle wounds: one on the knuckle of my right pointer finger, two on my face (one on the forehead, the other on my skinny top part of my nose), one to the left of my collarbone,  two above my right elbow, three above my left elbow (were it not for the one that was out of line they would have resembled Orion's belt), and (I'm wearing tights so I can't be certain, but) I believe I have at least two on each leg in the calf area and it feels like there's one by my knee. Ooh..wait!!  I keep finding more, but I don't want to list them.  Just trust me on this one.  If I scratch them they will get big and nasty.  And the world will totally win.  So I can't scratch them for two reasons.  Reason # 1. School starts on Monday.  I do not want to look like the big guy from 'The Goonies' if I scratch all my demon bites and have them all swell up.  Not a great first impression.  Reason # 2.  Scratching means the world wins.  And I don't wanna lose. 

I realize this is not a prime example of the "Choices/Consequences" method because the decision I made was a good one. But, then again, there are consequences (good or bad) with every choice you make.


I made a choice: have fun, climb some trees, party before school started, etc., etc.
The world slapped me with a consequence: The Great Mosquito Battle of Oh-Nine



World - 1
Brissa - 0                          (But don't you worry, I'll make a comeback)