i'm not getting paid to blast this, but i probably should be.

first thing's first.

montana is cool, i guess.

on to business.

aka: the nails that changed my life.

 

inside this magic box you will find 

a fake nail polish bottle filled with

the press-on manicure of your choice. 

impress press-on nails have changed my mind

when it comes to press-on nails.

i got them at target for only six dollars 

and they are literally what dreams are made of. 

unlike the old days of shaping

and trimming and filing old school press-on's,

i felt like these bad boys

were made for me. 

i found a size for each of my nails

and still have enough left over for a second set. 

the box says "no glue needed,"

but i wanted to get the most wear possible out of them.

aaand i stopped trusting "self-adhesive nails" in eighth grade. 

i used a dab of nail glue on each nail before applying. 

the nail glue was $1.97 and has been worth

every single penny.

i put these bad boys on exactly a week ago today. 

i haven't worried about them coming off at all.

they haven't lifted or budged or even trapped stray hairs. 

they are miracle nails.

if i'm being completely honest,

i can see a little bit of wear on the tips.

it shows up as white and is only noticeable

if you're looking for it. 

and honestly, i'll take a little wear 

over chipped nails any day. 

buy them.

buy them.

buy them.

my "nails" are all finally the same length,

rock a polish that isn't smudged or chipped within two days,

and i haven't stabbed my eyeballs once. 

if that wasn't enough to convince you,

let me take this moment to remind you to

wiiknd: little caesar's was giving away free samples...!!!

one week.

crazy town say whhhhaaattt?!

helium app thanks to kylee.

cheap, delicious pizza.

modern family.

computer melt down.

in bed by nine.

busy brain.

early up = devastated.

lazy day.

nails, painted.

brows, plucked.

laundry, washed.
house, cleaned. 

costco.

friggin big lots.

no mo' snow, hoe.
"eat like a college kid day."
young adult.

three hour of sleep.
up at six.
college eating day hangover.
purple tights + mustard sweater + blue coat.
meeting at seven.
bob ross happy trees.
zombie status.
veggie straws.
parks and rec.
ox in the mire.
"this is love."
new girl.
grilled chicken.
durantula.
sweet, sweet slumber.

wiiknd: i've never seen someone so in love with a magic bullet.

sushi hangover.

costco. 

no samples = heartbreak.

snapchat.

homemade winger's salad.

 community.

lick fight.

shakey shakes.

errands.

sunshine.

harry potter.

filling up the box.

target browsing.

spring is coming.

showing off rupert.

breakfast for dinner.

whipped cream mountain a'la leslie.

nerf gun battle.

real talk.

magic bullet magic.

berry breakfast smoothies.

early church.

foggy skies.

little matie cuddles.

worst cooks in america.

sea salt gelato.

modern family.

no work tomorrow.

wiiknd: we're just going to act like last week never happened.

trunk or treat.

face painting station.

target run.

spiderman + spongebob macaroni.

new girl.

parks and rec.

cuddle

morning pillow talk.

cinnamon roll breakfast.

football + cleaning.

middle part, resurrected. 

mall rats.

hipster headband. 

harry potter scarf.

chik-fil-a.

cazj + cuddle.

it's always sunny.

meeting cancelled.

"you look like a classy stevie nicks."

baby blessing.

baby sister's birthday dinner.

elton.

imgur.

whispered "i love you's."

wiiknd: i never thought i'd say this, but there is such thing as too much breakfast in one day.

work + work.
cazj.

cory = football game.

brissa = pretty little liars.

parks and rec.

early morning.

apple cinnamon tea.

work til one.

home = spotless.
breakfast for lunch. 

interwebz catch up + football game. 

slow motion seizure*.

greek festival.
cinnamon honey heaven.
"have you guys ever heard of dees?!?!!!"
breakfast for dinner.
diploma pick-up.
seinfeld.
breakfast coma.

one month say whhhhhat?!
12:15 appointment = new calling.
young women's first counselor.
gushers packed = sunday snack.
plans to buy fruit snacks.
homemade lasagna.
parks and rec.
homemade hot chocolate.

*apparently the 'i' before 'e' rule doesn't apply to seizures.

it's good to be productive again.

after weeks of searching and applying 

and [mostly] housewife-ing,

i got a job.

it's nothing fancy,

but it keeps me busy and learning

and doing things i never thought i could do.

i love it.

i'm not writing for a paper or a magazine.

in fact, i'm not writing at all. 

but it's okay.

this way i can write for me.

write what i want.

what i care about.

what i feel.

sidenote[s]: 

the words are making a comeback.

just like leslie.

pll is a straight-up drug.

i can't stop watching.

i won't stop watching.

so.much.dramA.

dr. swanson

words don't seem to be working lately.

and when words don't work,

parks and rec references do.

hopefully i can earn those words back

before things get out of control. 

wiiknd: football season stole my husband.

[thurs]day night lights hangover.

lunch and a seinfeld.

the great migration with papa bear.

free cafe rio.

 british addiction.

college football = background music.

den organization.

papa + sass = home.

family dinner.

belated birthday celebration.

season two, finished.

purple + pink dress.

cute babies.

flow free during class.

fishing.

crawdad, hooked. 

late night snack.

parks and rec. 

errands + laundry.

jello salad. 

meat monday = official end of summer.

home to cazj.

parks and rec.

intermission + ice cream.

gone baby gone.

sleep.

wiiknd: maybe he'd marry you if you wore sleeves

mama + papa + seesters.

fancypants mall.

best friend introductions.

hair lusting.

maxi dress + skirt, purchased.

birthday month forgetting.

red velvet cheescake.

basketball naps.

cake testing fail.

printing planned.

sidewalk chalk festival.

chick-fil-a.

the beatles, love.

porch sealing.

c-a-l run.

sunshine nap.

belt + shoe searching.

bridesmaids dresses found.

paul rudd + jason segel.

totes mcgotes.

parks and rec.

tammy 1 arrives.

freeway breakdown.

regional conference. 

baby blessing.

backyard scouting.

party planning.

family barbecue.

cousin confusion.

blushing ginger.

ox in the mire.

slideshow.

strawberry shortcake.

pranks via mama.

chopped.

wiiknd: parks and rec on netflix doesn't go beyond season three. my heart cried.

sunroof, open.

sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band.

zupa's.

parks and rec heartache.

guy ritchie.

movie sleeping.

sleep drunk.

neon yellow dress.

parents in town. 

breakfast burrito.

dress searching.

ring resize.

hand and foot total domination.

team meowsome 4ever.

blog frenz = real life. 

t-pain auto-tune microphone madness.

easy a.

30 seconds. 

prep school get-up.

church.

ox in the mire. 

basketball.

homemade alfredo.

asparagus from heaven.

toolbox takeover.

duck feeding.

duckling swimming competitions.

community.

45 seconds. 

ice cream

rummy.

harry and the potters.

the blow.

happiness.

wiiknd: it needs a list. it was that good.

happiness.

story telling.

candid doctor.

paint samples.

babies wearing sparkly toms.

arizona lemonade.

pizza.

early birthday cake cutting.

list making.

date selecting.

interrogation. 

sunshine. 

fancy pants. 

apartment hunting.

white porch.

wooden window panes. 

spiral staircase. 

heart stolen.

chick-fil-a.

failed search for bam.

jason + emily + chris + alison.

constant heart flutters.

cereal pyramid. 

nursery. 

baby friends.

bathroom acquaintances.

parks and rec.

duck feeding.

seagull hating.

community catch-up.

sunshine.

setting up the tramp.

grass stains.

family dinner.

monk.

midnight drive.

this is a giant memo addressed to the following:

bubble sheets.

essays.
"participation points."
mandatory attendance.
expensive books.
"required reading."
homework.
midterms.
finals.
giant lectures.
night classes.
parking nazi's.
procrastination.
grades.

you and i are officially dunzo.
i've waited so long for you to be on this list
and now that you're finally here,
it feels fantastic.

sidenote:
 there is not a quote, episode, gif, picture, video
or any additional form of media
from parks and rec that is not applicable to my life.
i'm serious.
it completes me.

wiiknd: if you were a tool, i was going to leave.

good mood food.

hand and foot.

two victories + two epic failures.

chilled mugs.

root beer floats.

incredible arm chair.

cancer comedy.

campus strolls.

awkward pictures.

donut breakfast.

big o' suxx.

best buy.

journal searching.

journal purchased.

bookstore browsing.

contingo reunion.

chick-fil-a.

denzel + ryan = mmm.

grocery shopping.

sneaky cheese transaction.

parks and rec.

homemade enchilada party.

20 questions.

cologne connoisseur.

secrets, revealed. 

"two hours."

early morning reading.

journal writing.

church.

stomach rumbles.

leftovers.

article writing.

big boppers.

jazz victory.

parks and rec.

"i'm ron effing swanson."

i'm proud to say i have converted another person

 to the goodness that is parks and rec.

instant queue it. 

now.

trust me.

you won't regret it. 

happy halloween hangover.

unfortunately,

i didn't consume enough candy yesterday

to have a halloween hangover today.

i usually aim to crash like this at some point during the holiday,

but that's not the case this year.

so to all you recovering sugar crash victims,

well done. 

instead of candy

i ate pumpkin pancakes

at a pumpkin pancake party.

while there, i learned a few things

i'd like to share with you.

 never talk bump-its. 

i guarantee the conversation will take a turn for the worst.

there is no such thing as a wishy-washy lost-ite.

you either love it or you hate it.

parks and rec brings people together.

i blame leslie knope's sparkling personality

and tom haverford's lavish lifestyle.

cool whip on pancakes is the greatest combination ever.

i am kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

and finally, 

nightmare before christmas is not a halloween movie

it's a christmas movie. 

jack the pumpkin king makes me want a door to christmasland.