i don't know why i keep doing this to myself.

for our trip to hawaii

my sister convinced me to get my nails done.

i thought she was just too lazy to glue my press-ons for me,

but she had a convincing argument

so off to the nail salon we went.

twenty bucks later and i was a regular miss fancy pants.

lazy or not, 

she was right.

my press-ons wouldn't have lasted ten days

in the humidity, ocean and sand.

i also hate to admit that after my first few awkward days of,

"ohmygoooosh, everything thinks i'm a beezy."

"no. these nails were a mistake. i look like a brat."

i started to actually enjoy having them.

and they didn't stab my eyeballs once!!!

about a week after we got back from our trip,

i knew it wouldn't be long before i had get rid of them.

 the natural nail space between cuticle

and acrylic was starting to get ridiculous.

author's note:

taking off acrylics is the worst.

it's honestly the main reason

(other than the risk of a retina stab

and the dolla-dolla bill factor)

i don't get my nails done.

i hate spending an entire afternoon

soaking and scraping and filing 

in hopes of getting all the acrylic to disappear.

due to my severe hatred of acrylic nail removal,

i avoided it for weeks.

i told myself lies and excuses,

justifying my procrastination.

it wasn't until we were at kylee's farewell

that cory looked down and actually saw my nails.

he scrunched up his face in slight disgust and disbelief and said,

"we need to get those filled or taken off.

that's like a full half an inch.

you look like a junior high girl

who just got her nails done for the first time 

and refuses to take them off."

the next day i went to the store,

bought acetone, sat my butt in front of the television

and got to work.

i meant to take a picture of the grow-out but kept forgetting.

you'll just have to trust me (and cory),

it wasn't pretty.

oh, and here's a fun fact for those interested,

there is still acrylic on my fingers.

i'm afraid it will never, ever come off. 

i'm not getting paid to blast this, but i probably should be.

first thing's first.

montana is cool, i guess.

on to business.

aka: the nails that changed my life.

 

inside this magic box you will find 

a fake nail polish bottle filled with

the press-on manicure of your choice. 

impress press-on nails have changed my mind

when it comes to press-on nails.

i got them at target for only six dollars 

and they are literally what dreams are made of. 

unlike the old days of shaping

and trimming and filing old school press-on's,

i felt like these bad boys

were made for me. 

i found a size for each of my nails

and still have enough left over for a second set. 

the box says "no glue needed,"

but i wanted to get the most wear possible out of them.

aaand i stopped trusting "self-adhesive nails" in eighth grade. 

i used a dab of nail glue on each nail before applying. 

the nail glue was $1.97 and has been worth

every single penny.

i put these bad boys on exactly a week ago today. 

i haven't worried about them coming off at all.

they haven't lifted or budged or even trapped stray hairs. 

they are miracle nails.

if i'm being completely honest,

i can see a little bit of wear on the tips.

it shows up as white and is only noticeable

if you're looking for it. 

and honestly, i'll take a little wear 

over chipped nails any day. 

buy them.

buy them.

buy them.

my "nails" are all finally the same length,

rock a polish that isn't smudged or chipped within two days,

and i haven't stabbed my eyeballs once. 

if that wasn't enough to convince you,

let me take this moment to remind you to

ever since i was a little girl i dreamed of getting acrylic nails.

my sister and i would buy the press-on's in junior high

and spend hours trimming, filing and making them look perfect

before carefully placing them on each finger. 

{please note: this is not me. i was brown, my front teeth were much larger

and my tips were always white with pink flowers and sparkles. i kept it classy.}

surprisingly enough, 

i never got my nails done for a high school dance.

i couldn't justify the price. 

i kept the dream alive though.

one day,

 i was going to have shiny, white tipped nails. 

one day....

the first time i got acryclic nails

was for jewboo's wedding.

my little girl dream had finally come true. 

they were perfectly squared with slightly rounded ends, 

placed straight on my finger and not slanted like the lady originally wanted.

i thought they were beautiful.

{this is the only photographic evidence i have of them. 

please don't judge me too harshly for what my face and hand are doing in this picture. 

it was 2009. i was 19 and i just wanted to be cool.}

then, i tried to take out my contacts.

i'm surprised my retina isn't scarred.

i felt my outfit choices were limited because my nails were too fancy.

so my white van knock-offs from target and jeans weren't going to cut it.

they felt like a strange extension to my natural nail

and i thought they were going to rip off every time

 i opened a car door, zipped up my pants or tied my shoes.

i grew paranoid that everyone i came in contact with 

would take one look at my hands and think, 

"ohmygosh, does she really think she can pull those off?"

or 

"biotch alert!!!!"

they lasted less than a week before i plied them off.

it was one of the most painful things i've ever done.

apparently i needed to soak my nails longer in the 100% acetone.

how dumb of me for stopping the soak prematurely. 

i should have realized when your skin burns

and feels like it's going to fall off,  that means it's working.

duuuh.

i promised myself i would never 

go through that horrible experience 

ever again.

>>>fast forward two years>>>

kay and i are going to get our nails done tonight

for her wedding tomorrow*.

so if you have a spare moment,

could you please pray for my eyeballs?

they already hate me. 

*aaaaaahh!!! my baby is getting married tomorrow!!!!!!