Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ever since i was a little girl i dreamed of getting acrylic nails.
my sister and i would buy the press-on's in junior high
and spend hours trimming, filing and making them look perfect
before carefully placing them on each finger. 
{please note: this is not me. i was brown, my front teeth were much larger
and my tips were always white with pink flowers and sparkles. i kept it classy.}
surprisingly enough, 
i never got my nails done for a high school dance.
i couldn't justify the price. 
i kept the dream alive though.
one day,
 i was going to have shiny, white tipped nails. 
one day....
the first time i got acryclic nails
was for jewboo's wedding.
my little girl dream had finally come true. 
they were perfectly squared with slightly rounded ends, 
placed straight on my finger and not slanted like the lady originally wanted.
i thought they were beautiful.
{this is the only photographic evidence i have of them. 
please don't judge me too harshly for what my face and hand are doing in this picture. 
it was 2009. i was 19 and i just wanted to be cool.}
then, i tried to take out my contacts.
i'm surprised my retina isn't scarred.
i felt my outfit choices were limited because my nails were too fancy.
so my white van knock-offs from target and jeans weren't going to cut it.
they felt like a strange extension to my natural nail
and i thought they were going to rip off every time
 i opened a car door, zipped up my pants or tied my shoes.
i grew paranoid that everyone i came in contact with 
would take one look at my hands and think, 
"ohmygosh, does she really think she can pull those off?"
"biotch alert!!!!"

they lasted less than a week before i plied them off.
it was one of the most painful things i've ever done.
apparently i needed to soak my nails longer in the 100% acetone.
how dumb of me for stopping the soak prematurely. 
i should have realized when your skin burns
and feels like it's going to fall off,  that means it's working.
i promised myself i would never 
go through that horrible experience 
ever again.

>>>fast forward two years>>>

kay and i are going to get our nails done tonight
for her wedding tomorrow*.
so if you have a spare moment,
could you please pray for my eyeballs?
they already hate me. 

*aaaaaahh!!! my baby is getting married tomorrow!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

you are absolutely hilariously... seriously, your blog is my newest love.

Roxxy Cambridge said...

I agree with Hannah Katy. I stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and now I can't help but view it, oh, all the time :)

Hannah {Culture Connoisseur} said...

OUCH. I've never done fake nails for that reason. I've seen one to many girlfriends fall prey to them and rip up their God-given nails as a result. I'm actually physically, wincing in pain at the thought of it right now.

Just close your eyes and it'll be over soon....and maybe see if she's ok with you wearing glasses...

Alexandria said...

Praying for you and your eyeballz. I had fake nails once. I kept them pretty short so I didn't have as many scary moments. Now I do shellac manicures on my natural nails. They're stronger than when their bare, but not as scary as talons. Whuh.

ellie said...

Whenever I got them done I would always get them super short, I'm sure the people at the nail salong thought I was crazy, but I had to rip many a set off myself after events. Make sure that the underside of the nails are smooth. The places I used to go to would always make everything on top look great, but there was often a jagged edge underneath on the side of the nail. Speaking from experience on that one.

Cassidy said...

I have that same childhood dream and did the same fake walmart glue-ons!! Although, I am still an acrylic virgin... maybe someday. Maybe.

kylee said...

fake nails. every young girls dream. and if you never bought the diy mock version at rite aid then you surely never lived as a child. i once got my nails really done. biggest mistake ever. i looked like such a fool. small hands means they look awful.

Krystal said...

OMG, that picture is HILARIOUS!!!

Ashley said...

hahaha :)

I COMPLETELY feel ya on the fake nails/taking out your contacts front. OUCH.

Also, I remember one time I got fake nails and I was working as a cashier. I dropped a penny on the floor and COULD NOT pick it up. I had to call another employee over to help sad. is. that???

kelli case anderson said...

ahaha i just wear them acrylic nails with whatever and call it good. pjs, church clothes or work. i bet it'll be different now. good luck!

katrina said...

hahaha oh nails. love hate relationship. so trashy yet sooo fabulous. i always cave and get them like once a year. and then i totally regret it. ohh my.

love to hate em hate to love em.

i hope your eyeballs are ok. and that the wedding is perfection.

lauren said...

Brissa, OF COURSE you can pull fake nails off (I mean because you are cool and beautiful and classy, I dont meant literally pull them off...) Let them grow out and then have the lady take them off for you! Also, tell your sister congrats from me!!!!!! That is so exciting!

millie said...

oh my gosh! i remember how i dreamed of getting my nails done too as a little girl. and then when i got to mexico, my host sister was really excited to try her new acrylic nail kit on me, so i gleefully accepted.

the excitement lasted all of three minutes.
it was less than a week before i ripped them off.

i certainly will pray for your eyeballs and jeans and shoes!

Julie and Jesse said...

aww brissa! that was my first time getting fake nails too! and i think they lasted through the cancun honeymoon! i'm proud of you for going again. BE BRAVE! and make sure you tell the lady what you want and not let her put them on crooked.

love you!

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Haha oh dear! I cannot imagine taking out my contacts with fake nails, ouch! I was a bit like that when I got a french manicure. I started walking around like my hands were glass because I didn't want to scratch them because then people would judge me :p

Hilary Mae said...

I hope your eyeballs are ok.
My contacts are the reason I have never gotten fake nails.
And I hope your sissy's wedding goes SMASHINGLY!
Congrats to her and you for being so brave with the nails again!!!

Hilary Mae

Autumn said...

I couldn't stop laughing because I am the same exact way.

I actually decided for my wedding I wouldn't get them because then I would surely die. (not being dramatic or anything)

kylee said...

"biotch alert" is ten times funnier now that we've met and hungout numerous times. also, i have noticed that 2011 kylee really likes to use periods when really a comma would suffice. it's obvious that 2013 kylee is a college grad.