i could go for some onion rings.

today i attempted to get jude on a consistent schedule.

lately we've been cat napping in the morning

with a two to three hour nap in the afternoon.

while the long naps have been fantastic for both of us,

i'm hoping a more consistent schedule will help her sleep through the night 

instead of consistently waking up at four for some food.

this morning went pretty well.

jude was able to fall asleep with minimal fussing

and i got to take a shower and start some laundry.

this afternoon has been the complete opposite.

she has been the biggest fuss bucket.

crying as soon as i leave the room.

crying when i'm in the room but not holding her.

crying because her binky fell out.

crying. crying. crying.

i finally had to give in and put her in the carrier.

she went from wide awake to fast asleep in less than three seconds.

what.a.diva.

i let her sleep in the carrier while i ate my sweet potato lunch.

for some stupid reason, i'm trying to be healthy.

after my feast, i took her out, swaddled her, 

put her in her bassinet and made a bee-line for the freezer.

because, screw being healthy.

sweet potatoes can't fix days like this.

days like this call for an early afternoon cup

of mint chocolate chip ice cream

and binge watching 30 rock.

i'm pretty sure this is the kind of mentality that puts me at risk

of starring in my own episode of tlc's "my 600-pound life."

but you know what?

sometimes the only thing you can do is eat your feelings.

AND THAT'S OKAY.

in other news,

i've resurrected my middle part

and i'm not sure how i feel about it.

kim, would you stop taking pictures of yourself? your sister is going to jail.

all i want to do

is dye my hair kim k blonde

(and get extensions to complete the look. obviously.)

without spending a billion thousand dollars.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!!!!

i love her.

and her hair.

i went in for one and came out with three.

please don't tell me i'm the only person on this planet

who is incapable of buying a brush without testing it out in the store first.

and after i've touched it to my head,

i say a quick prayer the person who tested before me doesn't have lice.

then i make a few fake brush strokes

to see if said brush is comfortable enough to work with.

please tell me this is normal.

moving on...

yesterday i went nuts 

and bought three new brushes.

three.

who am i?

one for clean, freshly washed, first day hair.

it's a paddle brush and feels so soft on my head.

it's basically begging me to turn into marcia brady

and brush my hair 100 times before bed each night.

one for second day, third day, fourth day, etc. hair.

this one is small and vented,

allowing me to easily clean out all the dead hair and dry shampoo

 that always seems to multiply overnight.

the last one is for backcombing

because my hair is lifeless.

aaand rumor has it you basically go bald after having a baby.

these thin locks of mine are going to need all the help they can get. 

some of you might be thinking

three brushes for one head is ridiculous.

trust me when i say it's not.

it was 100% necessary.

before yesterday, i only had one brush.

i used it for everything.

then it started getting all that icky dry shampoo'd hair

all up in its bidniss which, in turn,

left weird flaky, dry shampoo leftovers in my hair.

i do not have dandruff.

repeat! i do not have dandruff!

i couldn't handle it.

since it was a paddle brush,

it felt like it was never clean.

i'd cut and pick and pull hair out.

i'd even wash the thing in hot water!

nothing worked.

that's when i realized i needed to make the plunge.

since i'm not a huge fan of washing my hair every day

(strictly for lazy purposes),

creating a new system seemed so much easier.

because honestly,

who has time to wash their hair seven times a week?!

i am practically a hermit and i don't even have time for that.

so let's hope this new system works.

i'm praying for it.

i really am.

and since it was all under eight bucks,

i figured, 

meh. why not?

"only whores dye their hair red." - scottie2hottie*

my hair seems to have a

tinge of the ginge right now.

i swear it was only slightly on purpose,

but i completely understand 

if you don't want to talk to me anymore.

*real quote from a real friend.

i am not a crook whore.

satan's hair.

once upon a time my hair looked like this.

the ends were getting lighter and i was kind of loving it.

so i went to the salon to get some new summer hair.

apparently little miss thang didn't want to go lighter

{even though it's my hair}

and now i have a slightly redish hue to my hair in the sunlight.

luckily i have friends who tell it like it is.

scott: did you dye your hair?

brissa: yes...

scott: only whore's dye their hair red.

brissa: it was an accident! i wanted it lighter!

scott: yeah, that's what they all say.

even though you can't see my "whore hair" in the picture above,

 it's there. 

trust me. 

informal business meeting.

can't decide.

please act as my brain and make a decision for me.

 here are some facts and figures for you intellectual types. 

 

steps
pros: easy to hide for work. design options galore. looks awesome with ponytails/top knots. perfect for summer. ultimate party rock.
cons: the grow-out phase. constant upkeep. 

color
pros: adds spice to hair. able to keep length. can change up the color. grow out is less awkward. more noticeable. looks awesome when braided.
cons: bleaching is a pain. frequent need to recolor.

 

 

i'll expect a typed report with your decisions in the morning.

thank you for your time. 

meeting adjourned.

on a sidenote: go.watch.recreate.

time.travel.face.punch.

my 8th grade self 

would punch my face if she saw this. 

the middle part: 1990-2000.

resurrected: 2011.

it's a christmas miracle. 

knee how.

ni hao mah.

that's chinese for hello.

some of you may be asking yourselves

"now why would brissa be greeting us in chinese?"

well let me tell you why.

because i've been called asian three times in the past two days.

i think it might have something to do with this face.

apparently a blunt fringe gives me a reporter face.
aaand it reminds my mama of when i was a three year old.
granny liked it because she said i could now snag
"two types of boys"
because apparently being able to style your hair various ways
helps you get a man...?

wigga way whhhat?!

brown.bleach.blue.

sorry kids.

but i'm still a wee bit obsessed with the color and my new pizzle.  

like woah.

just thought i'd warn you. 

i may be disowned as a result of this.

{but it's worth it}

oh hello children.

this is what i did this weekend.

plotted. planned. painted.

i love it.

next time i'm going purple.

done & done

remember when i said this?

well i finally did something about it.

i died my hairs.

 darker brown and it looks purplish sometimes.

i like it.

a lot a lot.

maybe i'll take a picture of it to show you.

sidenote:

i'm bored.
with...everything.
i want to change something.
right now my hair seems the easiest/fastest.
can you please help me decide?
i don't know what i should do with it but i want it to be different.

here's the tricky part.
i'd dye it, but i sometimes like my natural color becuase it gets lighter during summertime.
i'd cut it, but i've been trying to grow it out forEVER.
i'd get bangs, but those will annoy me in a week or two.
i'd re-step it, but i am currently hating the grow out process {and it's taking aaages}.

please help me.
i am honestly open to suggestions.
i'd try just about anything.

or if you can think of another way to get me out of my bored funk...
holler at your girl.
{yes that was intentional because we all know i know how to be ghetto.}