oh selener.

over the weekend cory told me about the

selena + justin baby drama.

google told me it was a lie,

but that didn't stop me from doing an image search.

i would like to take this moment

to personally thank every person in the world 

who is terrible at photoshop.

thank you for not having anything better to do.

thank you for thinking these look believable.

thank you. thank you. thank you. 

if we're being 100% honest,

i think justin makes a better pregnant lady.

he just has this glow about him, ya know?

attn: sandy

putting in a real two weeks notice

is nothing like your two weeks notice.

let's not give girls unrealistic ideas

of the real world,

mmmmkay?

real life has less fancy gala's,

stapler wars and hugh grant

and more sweaty palms,

queasy stomachs

and avoiding explaining why.

"personal reasons"

is really just code for,

"because i hate you mr. bossman.

 i hate you like woah

and i'm not letting you tear me down

anymore.

so put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

two weeks and counting.

i think i'll make a paper chain.

oh hey friday, when'd you get here?

 today i checked my tweeter.

guess who's following me?

uuuhh...whhhhat?!

i'd like you to note that i am not following the former/current mrs. pratt.

first mr. kingston, then the hoff and now miss montag.

i feel so fortunate to have the truly elite of hollywood stalking my tweets.

aaand for those of you who couldn't detect it,

that last statement? 

it was dripping in sarcasm.

climbing the ladder to stardom

david hasselhoff is following me on twitter.

...

the hoff is following me.

what's great is after a 7 second stalk-out i came upon this particular tweet:

i didn't even have to follow him.

that's right,

 brizzle doesn't the follow the hoff, the hoff follows brizzle.

{wicka whhhhat?!!}

this is better than the time i found out sean kingston was following me.

like omg! i'm like famous...!

famous people flock to me.

yesterday i ate lunch with this gentleman.

and then made babies with this sexbeast.

i love my life.

sidenote: i love how my baby daddy, james franco, looks like my dreamboat james dean.  also, did you know frankie-boy is a genius?  please take the time to read his bio and become extremely jealous that i am carrying his child.  and mostly because i just can't stop staring....here are some more glorious photos.

reer.

it really is creepy how similar they look.

if only, if only

last night we were watching fashion police.

it reignited my obsession with celebrities and their fancy parties and clothes.

it's secretly my dream to attend one of these award shows before i die.

dianna agron

she is a classic beauty. 

she looks age appropriate without feeling the need to be hoochie. 

her hair, makeup, nail polish, jewelry, clutch.

everything worked.

 anne hathaway

homegirl looks ammmmazing in this dress.

the shoulders, the color, the texture, her hair.

ay caramba.

 angelina jolie

let it be known i detest this woman.

i am team jen all the way.

but there is not denying angelina looks incredible.

emerald is in people.

 emma stone

did you guys know my bff emma is a natural blonde?

i'm still getting used to it 

but i think she can pull off both looks. 

i love the peach color, just not the way it sort of matches her skin.  

and is it just me, 

but did anyone else notice more sleeves and less cleave this time around?

let's hope hollywood is rewinding to their classy days 

and leaving the trampy era behind.