an apologetic rant followed by a few of my favorite things.

first thing's first.
i'd like to take this moment and publicly apologize
to every pregnant woman whose belly i have ever asked to touch.
i am so, so sorry.
if only i knew then what i know now.
it's awful.
 just because there's a baby inside,
doesn't make it public property.
while i'm grateful i never rubbed your belly like a lamp
waiting for a genie to pop out,
i still feel sorry for the whole belly-touching thing.

personality update:
i still hate people.


on to happier things.

internet cats and pizza!

does life get any better?!

happy weekend, children.

may your pizzas be greasy and your bellies untouched. 

the internet knows my heart.

last week i spent an undisclosed amount of time

googling images under the search,

"space cats."

the results were nothing short

of magic.

i have complied a list of my favorites

and gave each of them a name.

they're basically my children.

death stare to the humanz.

 meowies in space. 

 peppermeownie.

 philosophical kitty dust. 

the great trip of john meownnon.

if you're ever lonely or sad,

just google "space cats."

it's like a giant hug from the internet. 

blah blah blah and cats.

i had every intention of writing a list

of things i have learned in all my years of life

that school could never teach me.

but instead,

i'm in freak out mode.

my normal self packs for trips a week in advance.

but here i am, the day before girls camp,

without a single thing in my bag. 

i don't even know who i am anymore.

i couldn't go to sleep saturday night because

i kept telling myself i needed a headlamp.

a headlamp is better than a flashlight 

especially when it comes to using the bathroom late at night.

i'm washing all our clothes

just so i can dirty them up with dirt and sunshine and sweat.

i'm only allowed to wear long pants

and i'm trying to convince myself leggings count as long pants.

my house is a mess.

i hate going on any sort of trip 

and coming home to a house that isn't spotless.

it sends me into a depressed panicky state. 

and while i'm grateful it has contained itself

to an area other than my face,

can someone please explain why

i'm getting ridiculous bacne at the age of twenty-three?

oh, i forgot the best part.

we leave tomorrow.

at 5:30 am.

halp.

life is winning right now. 

proof is in the pudding.

when i searched "sad cat," i found this.

the internet knows how much i hate him. 

stop trying to ruin internet katz for me!