Tuesday, May 7, 2013

what frightens me most.

i'm fairly traditional when it comes
to things that scare the living daylights out of me.

bears attacking me while i camp.
animals attacking me while i use a biffy while camping.
anything creepy crawling on me.
being separated from my buddy while scuba diving.

you know, normal stuff.

but the thing i am most afraid of.
the one thing in the world that shakes me to my core
and truly shows how 
shallow and selfish i am
is my legitimate fear of having ugly babies.

no one will tell you your child is ugly.
they will compliment the color of their eyes,
or the thickness of their hair,
or an article of clothing.
they'll even go so far as to say, 
"oh what a fun baby!"
but they will never look you in the eye and say,
"i don't get it. how did this happen?"

i know i'll love my brown ginger babies no matter what,
but i also know i will be blinded by love.
they'll all be perfect to me.
and herein lies our problem.
so please,
if i ever have ugly babies,
don't tell me.
call them fun.
say they have a unique laugh.
tell me they'll be smart one day.
save me from the truth.

i mean,
did you watch friday night lights?
would have everrrr made a gracie bell.
and if they're not safe,
who is?

moral of the story:
i am a horrible person.


Alissa said...

BRISSA. I can't stop laughing.

Gracie Bell is the poster child for, "Two good looking people can have an ugly baby."

At least on TV.

from head 2 toe said...

Me too. I am SOOO afraid of this. And I am bad. Like, super bad. I always look at babies and think right away "Cute" or "UUUGGGLLY".

Seriously. I'm going to hell.

kylie said...

i CANNOT count how many times i've had the gracie bell convo with my people. no way that a kid as ugly came from coach and tami and there is no way that a kid as bratty as julie came from them either.

-Danica- said...

Hahahaha this was my biggest fear too!!! I was terrified of having ugly kids and then it was my fault they were ugly haha. Once they are yours though, it totally doesnt matter. Cuz they are the most perfect, adorable, and funny things in the world. And the good news is you have a husband who will think the same thing. So even if you are the ONLY two, thats all that matters.

But that's beside the point. Your kids are gonna be adddorrrrrable.

Shaylynn... a girl, a story, a blog said...

Ahahahaahaha, ahahaahahahaha, ahahahaahah, that's right I had to insert a comma between laughter.

Briss. I did not see the baby thing coming, did not. And today has been such a crazy hard day for me, I don't think I've laughed at all, and then I a laugh so hard i nearly vomit.

you won't have ugly babies. I am going out with a tongan on a blind date and the only thing I can think.. brown skin=best looking babies.

you + your brown skin = case & point.

Jessica Wray said...


Tiffany @ Polka Dotted Cats said...


What a fun baby! That is going to be my new go-to for babies, even if they are cute.

kylee said...

SPIDERS! just today, i was sitting in bed editing some pictures when a freakin spider floated down on his nasty of a web and tried to land on me. i FREAAAAAKED out and of course, i lost him IN MY BED. i was going to die. thank goodness i found him, i would have slept on the couch otherwise. i could never scuba dive. deep water terrifies me. you could never have ugly babies. you are a BABE. also, that fear totally made me think of seinfeld. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SAFkZ0OlKE
HAHAHAHAHAHA I AM DYING OVER THE FNL PICS! dyyyyiiiiing. she really is an ugly baby though.

Jillian said...

Omg! I had this conversation with my boyfriend just the other day. "But what if our baby comes out ugly?", I asked him, half-kidding (though not really). He said I won't think my own child is ugly. I don't totally buy that.

I, too, am a horrible person.

Christina @ The Murrayed Life said...

GRACIE BELL! Can you imagine watching the entire series of Friday Night Lights in a three week period in early pregnancy?! When SHE popped on the screen, I was like... NOoOOOOooOOOo!

It's a totally legitimate fear, by the way. I consider myself lucky to have escaped it (minus an odd-shaped head. but whatevs, he's bald.)