Mental snapshot.

Yesterday we had the target ultrasound for our sweet little boy. A target ultrasound is where they really focus on looking at his development. They check his spine, heart, brain and fluids to make sure everything is progressing the way it should. Everything looks great and from the 3D ultrasound we got, he looks like a perfect mix of Jude and Ezra. Oh, and he yawned. He yawned and it was the cutest thing in the world.

We took Jude and Ezra and made a day of it. I'm sure people thought we were crazy when they saw a pregnant lady holding hands with a 1.5 year old followed by a dad holding a nine month old. In fact, I know they thought we were crazy. When our tech asked which pregnancy this was and I told her my third she said, "Oh! Oh, so...they're both yours." Her eyes got reeeal wide when I told her their birth dates and she realized all three are December babies born one year after another.

Before I got up on the exam chair, I settled Jude in her seat next to Cory and Ezra. I told Cory her tablet was in my bag in case she needed some technical sedation. Before I was able to hop onto the chair, Jude started climbing off hers saying, "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?" She crawled onto the chair next to mine and rested her head on my chest for nearly the entire ultrasound, like she was protecting me. When we saw his face on the screen she perked up and said, "Baby!" I showed her his eyes, nose, mouth, arms and legs and she repeated after me and pointed to those parts on her. She kept saying "Mommy baby belly." A few times during the ultrasound she turned to face me and gave me lovey eyes, smiled and patted my chest. It's like she was making sure I was okay and letting me know she was really happy.

Not to be outdone by his big sister, Ezra reminded us he was there too with his squawks. Ezra's squawks cannot be ignored. He does them when he's happy and he does them when he's mad. The only way you can tell the difference is by looking at his face. He had the biggest, goofiest smile and shook his arms and legs so we knew he was happy. It's equal parts adorable and ridiculous and there is literally nothing we can do to stop it. He doesn't offer any warning prior and by the time you realize what's happening you're deaf in one ear. It wasn't the most relaxing ultrasound I've had, but it was my favorite. I loved that plans fell through and we "had" to bring our babies along. I love how well-behaved they were. I love that they got to see their baby brother. I love how they turn the simplest moments into the sweetest memories.

I was so worried after we had Jude that I wouldn't be able to love another child as much as I loved her. But with each pregnancy, I find that my heart grows along with my belly. Parenthood is such a beautiful thing. I've never been in a situation where I have to figure everything out as I go. I surprise myself with the things I swore I would never do that I'm doing (re: a baby tablet) and the things I thought I'd do that I'm not. Raising these children is the most wonderful and noble thing I will ever do with my life. I am so grateful to Cory for choosing this life with me. For not shying away from this baby army we're building and for jumping in with all his heart every time I get two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Heaven knows I couldn't do this without him. Especially when we have back-to-back days of poopy bathwater and crusted oatmeal hair.

as my little brother so eloquently put it, "you guys are like rabbits."

bbbaaabbbbyyyy!
this has been one of the longest secrets i have ever kept.
there was no rhyme or reason, just pure laziness.
i kept putting it off because the house wasn't clean
or we had already changed out of our "cute" clothes
or, or or...

so yesterday,
before we went to cory's parents, i popped the question.
"cory, could we just take a picture dressed like this?"
i've never seen him so happy to take pictures before.
i suggest everyone wear their best sunday sweats
for all major/announcement self-timer photo shoots.
because honestly,
why curl my hair and put on business casual
when heaven knows this is how we look 95% of the time?

according to science and my calculations,

little murph will be born exactly 

twelve months and two weeks after jude.

unless we're lucky and get an early bird.

which would give us a set of irish twins. 

but based on my track record,

this little guy will probably stay in there for an extra month or two.
oh yeah, it's a boy.

>>details for anyone who hasn't fainted yet<<

i am twenty weeks along.
aka: halfway. aka: five months

i've felt more nauseous this time around.
but no puking, thank goodness. 
my nose is extra good at smelling things.
i'm looking at you too-ripe grocery store bananas. 

i might be more exhausted but part/most of that 

is thanks to chasing jude around the house.
homegurl gets into e v e r y t h i n g.

i'm still praying for a ginger.

i will always pray for a ginger. 

we're excited. we're scared. we're nervous.

but most of all, 

we are so, so happy.

watching matie and jude has been such a treat.

this time next year,

that will be jude and ezra.

just hanging out, being best buddies
and melting my mommy heart.

oh yeah, and we're naming him ezra. 

wiiknd: the final update.

getting personal on a level no one asked for.

now that i'm at the stage where murphlina could come any day,

i find myself being better with personal hygiene.

i'm only allowing myself to go every other day without washing my hair.

instead of, you know three or four days...

i'm also making more of an effort 

to regularly shave my legs.

for some reason it's really important to me

to have smooth legs when i go into labor.

sometimes it's just easier to chill out on the toilet for an extra few minutes

because you know you're going to need to pee again as soon as flush.

i'm convinced they invented smart phones

for all the pregnant ladies who took five extra minutes of 

"just in case" time on the toilet.

on the same note,

how is it possible that i always empty my bladder

before hopping in the shower

and, without fail, by the end of said shower,

i need to empty it again?

what is the science on this?

i can go from not hungry at all 

to ravenous in 30 seconds flat.

that's when it gets scary.

like, 

GIVE ME ALL THE FOOD 

AND GIVE IT TO ME NOOOOOOW.

like, i scare myself when it gets that bad.

cory doesn't think i'm going to want to eat as much as i think i will after i give birth.

he thinks i'll be too exhausted from pushing a human out

and food will be the last thing on my mind.

the two things at the top of my list are currently:

a double-double animal style, fries and a shake

or all the sushi's and a shake.

either way, i'm getting a shake at the end of this.

nineteen.

we just got back from a visit to the doctor.

homegirl is growing right on schedule.

six pounds and a quarter.

there is a 

s i x p o u n d

human living inside my belly.

how weird is nature?

cory asked me to "make a normal face."

this was the result. i'm hopeless.

i also set up our last appointment

before she hops on out and joins the party.

it's weird to think that we are two appointments away

from meeting this little girl.

after two more appointments,

little cries and coos will bounce around our little home.

blankets and diapers and tiny socks will litter our floors.

i will be exhausted and will probably forget to shower,

but i will be happy.

two appointments

and i will finally be everything i ever wanted to be.

wiiknd: give me all the mashed potatoes then give me christmas.

christmas tree fluffing.

snowflake assembly.

online christmas shopping.

slight freak-out.

talk prep.

talk prep procrastination.
christmas decorating.
parks and rec.

fake nails ftw.

baby shower.

ham&swiss sliders.
tiny outfits.
a homemade quilt = tears.
speedy labor (horror) stories.
pit-stop.

baby shower take two.
tiny sandwiches.
tiny outfits.
spanglish conversations.
"mami, grandma doesn't speak spanish."
spotless house = world's best husband.
talk prep.
wreck-it ralph.

awake at four.
awake at five.
awake at six.
pre-breakfast.
awake at seven.

talk.
all the tears.
matie cuddles.
thank you cards.
burgers + root beer floats.
the great back scratch debate.
matie hugs.

"what are you doing?"
"blogging."
"make sure to talk about how sexy i am."

it's spelled matie but pronounced mattie.

about a month after cory's parents got matie,

we decided it would be "fun" to take him for the weekend.

i'm not sure what we thought it was going to be like,

but reality quickly set us straight.

watching matie for the weekend meant 

shallow, sleepless nights,

constantly checking to make sure he was breathing,

being too paranoid to take a shower,

and bodily fluids everywhere.

as stressful as it was,

nothing beat spending the entire day holding a baby.

he fit perfectly in my arms and stared at me with those big, blue eyes.

he stopped fussing when he saw the christmas lights

and was calmest when cory held him.

he slept and i watched.

waiting for him to wake up

so i could keep on staring.

mathew is the first baby cory really held and cared for.

i saw him change overnight.

the first day he was hesitant to do anything but sit while holding matie

and the next he had him slung in his arm like a football, walking all over the house.

it was amazing.

it is amazing.

i can't help but get emotional

when i think of how much we love matie.

then my heart stops when i think of how much we're going to love

our little baby.

then i see pictures like this and my heart beats double time.

look at that love in his eyes.

look at that pure, sweet love.

babygurl is going to have more love

than she's going to know what to do with. 

26 days and counting. 

4wk1dy

as of tomorrow,

i will officially be four weeks away from motherhood.

one month.

then our little baby girl will be here

and i can finally kiss those giant cheeks

 i keep seeing in her ultrasounds.

i can't even handle it.

excuse me while i go cry about it.

cry about finally being able to see and hold her

and also for not having a little belly buddy anymore.

pregnant hormones and emotions

will never make sense. 

and just because it's friday,

here's this.

happy weekend. 

via

i should be folding laundry but, brownies.

i recently self-diagnosed myself with

a disease called,

"if there are brownies in the house,

eat all of them before breakfast.

then make more."

yesterday i washed all of baby girl's clothes.
in less than six weeks and i'll be an official "mom."
it doesn't feel real
but it can't come soon enough. 

please do your lives a favor

and read this article

about how cory and topanga fell in love again.

it literally melted my heart. 

words cannot even express how excited i am

for girl meets world. 

it's 3:53

i just got out of the shower.

chicken is defrosting for dinner.

box elder bugs have invaded my home.

i long for change in a backwards kind of way.

i found my first stretch mark on my belly this weekend.

it made me smile.

grow baby, grow!

oh! dinner includes pillsbury crescent rolls

& i'm r e a l l y excited about it. 

attn: all first-time expectant mothers.

don't listen to all that

"it felt like a butterfly in my stomach"

hogwash people keep telling you.

!!!it's a lie!!!

babies in bellies don't feel like butterflies.

they feel like gas.

so if you're paranoid or worried

or cry every time someone asks you if you've felt your baby yet,

take a moment and ask yourself if you've been

feeling extra gassy lately.

chances are, that's your lil' babe kicking away. 

if you don't think you've felt your bebe move yet,

you need to remember

  you are not alone.

i didn't realize what was happening until i was 23 weeks along.

i thought i was crazy.

i cried every day.

people would.not.stop.asking.me

and i felt like a bad mom because of it.

so forget all the haters 

and ignore everyone who keeps asking you if

"you've felt the baby mooooove."

you'll probably still cry when they ask

and might think you're a bad mom,

but just wait.

once you realize what you've been feeling

has been tiny baby kicks and not ibs,

nothing else matters.

fake gas flutters are the sweetest feeling in the world. 

wiiknd: i can't stop thinking about that corn.

full bladder = waddle walk.

babygurl.

fishy spine.

little kicks and dances. 

future drama queen.

popcorn chicken.

fracture.

baby ryan gosling. 

breakfast scones.

storage unit moving.

scorching heat.

good will, poppin' tags.

day farms.

freshly picked sweet corn.

fat boys.

grilled dinner perfection.

grilled corn.

grilled corn.

grilled corn.

idk what to wear.

baby mama drama.

"i just want to stay here and cry."

property brothers marathon.

dreams = attainable.

drive-by.

giant tree love. 

agt catch-up.

sweet, sweet slumber. 

statistics.

i'm crossing my fingers for a little ginger baby.
i've already told cory 

 i'm not stopping until i get one.

this future belieber is due in december.

more specifically december 16,

but who knows with kids these days.

all i know is christmas will be awesome this year.
i'm 15 and a halfish weeks along.

please hold all questions on

my super human pregnant powers.

they haven't fully developed yet
and i'm pretty bummed.

i can't super smell anything.

i don't crave anything.

i haven't felt the meatball sandwich move,

and i still can't fly.

maternity leggings are a godsend.

they go aaaall the way up to your boobs

so none of that awkward legging line mid-belly happens.

i'm never going back.

even when i have my "smokin" bod again.

never.going.back.

this is happening.

part of me still can't believe it.

this.is.happening.

aahhh.

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and can i just take a minute and say,
!!!holy freaking crap!!!
the internet knows how to make my wombmate feel loved!
thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.
the comments and texts and tweets
and OMFGGGGG's
have been so wonderful.
i'm honestly surprised i haven't cried about it yet.
give it time.
there is no doubt in my mind
this little tyke will be loved on this here
www as much as irl.

and finally,
i promise i won't be a regular mom,
i'll be a cool mom.

i'd really appreciate if everyone stopped instagramming their sushi.

kthnxbai.