Monday, December 10, 2012

wiiknd: the most dramatic fifteen minutes of my life.

after his first bath,
mat decided to pee on himself,
his towel, his blanket,
and my leggings.

we pick our softest hand towel to dry him
 after round two.
it was a glorious buttercream number 
from bed, bath and beyond.
he made this adorable face then suddenly and effortlessly
pooped the most vibrant green
i have ever seen in my life.

after his third bath,
i was sure his bowels were empty.
there was no way any yellow or green
was getting out of his system now.
wrong.
i was playing with his little feet
when i felt the warm liquid on my wrist.

i called it quits 
and baby wiped that shiz.
homeboy didn't deserve another bath.

13 comments:

from head 2 toe said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who knew baby poop/pee could be so poetic?!

:: ashley :: said...

you are going to get a gold star in the afterlife. handling other peoples kids is hard work!

Krista said...

Hahaha oh newborns. Somehow they know when to let it all out. He is sooooooo cute, btw.

Krista said...

Hahaha oh newborns. Somehow they know when to let it all out. He is sooooooo cute, btw.

katrina said...

hahaahahahaha babies are just straight up crayyyy!

katrina said...

hahaahahahaha babies are just straight up crayyyy!

Kari said...

I am laughing so hard. Way to be a stalwart caregiver!

Krystal said...

HAHA!! love it :) so is this your sister or brother in laws new baby? also, the most dramatic 15 min of my life with a newborn was when i was changing his diaper at 2am, all bleary eyed and he projectile pooped ALL OVER the front of my shirt...i was in shock for a full 30 seconds i think, i didn't even know that was possible!!

Jenna said...

Oh man. A page from my own book!

Alex said...

I'm dying. That's hilarious. I'm sorry, it's probably not funny yet to you but I swear it will be soon!

Harley said...

hahah please see title of post below

Sara said...

HAHA! Amazing.

carla thorup said...

babies are NUTS. and that newborn wanker and pooper wander around like they don't have a clue what they're doing for the first 2 months. i love that this happened to you because it's a good growing pain (and a hilarious story to tell.)