Tuesday, November 19, 2013

honesty strikes again.

here's the thing,
it's basically impossible not compare yourself to others.
and the internet makes all that comparing and pressure and stress even worse.
even if it's not intentional, it happens.

the other morning i had a bit of a breakdown.
i asked cory if i was a bad mom because i haven't been shopping for baby clothes every day
and the majority of the clothes i've purchased for her have been from thrift shops.
(try as i might, i have the darndest time paying for a $25 baby dress when i know i can get one that looks brand new and only have to pay $2.)
and i'm no where near done setting up her nursery
or finishing projects i started because i get overwhelmed and stressed and tired.

i feel like everyone is pregnant right now.
i also feel like ladies who still have five months* left until baby time
are completely done with everything.
closets are stocked.
diapers are purchased.
rooms are picture perfect.
crafts are done (and ridiculously professional looking).
headbands and bows are sewn, glued and waiting for fuzzy little baby heads.
and i'm just sitting here,
less than a month away,
blogging about my mountains of projects instead of tackling them.
*five months might be a slight exaggeration. 

last night cory said,
"if she comes tomorrow, we will be okay.
she has a place to sleep and the house is warm.
that's all she needs right now."
i guess he's right.
babies just want to be loved.
to be held. 
to be cared for.
and as much as i'd like to have everything ready for her,
i need to accept the fact that i probably won't.
i might have dirty dishes in the sink
and a kitchen floor that needs to be mopped,
but she won't care.
as long as we are there to hold her when she cries,
nothing else matters. 

all i can do is take it day by day
and try my hardest.
that's got to count for something. 


Kerri Andersen said...

don't put pressure on yourself to have all those unnecessary decorations and things. those things do not make you a better mother because it honestly doesn't affect your baby whatsoever!

Alissa said...

I know it's hard not to compare yourself to others, but if you start doing it now, it will be harder to stop once she's here.

She will not turn around in 20 years and say, "Remember when there were dirty dishes in the sink the day you brought me home?" I promise :)

carla thorup said...

remember how EZ came 3 weeks early and I didn't have a car seat or the crib sheets or even some clean onesies (and all 3 of my baby showers were scheduled for that weekend), so matt went to walmart at 2 am to get a soft blanket (and windex bc i cleaned the mirror before i left) and i did a load of laundry so we could have clean onesies and then none of it even mattered because he was healthy and awesome?

your baby girl is going to be awesome. totes awesome actually.

(and if you have good friends and family to support you, maybe you'll come home to a cleaner house than you left it anyway!)

bless you dear brissa.

-Danica- said...

Let's talk about how Hadley is 3 years old and I still have baby projects I never finished... annnnd I never decorated her nursery. And guess what? She was just as loved and she looked pretty dang adorable in all her hand-me-down clothes. Seriously, none of that stuff matters once that little girl is in your arms and you just get to stare at her all day.

Babies are magical even without name brand clothes and perfect bows in their hair. In fact, I think there is a little more magic to it all without all of that stuff. You are gonna rock this mommyhood thing.

*fist bump*

Christina @ The Murrayed Life said...

giiirl, thrift shopping is WHERE IT'S AT for kids! I seriously think I've bought less than five things new for Declan in his entire 18 months. At least beyond white onesies and things. And you know I was in your shoes with him. Or close to. This next baby is going to be lucky to have a place to sleep... We might be co-sleepers just from lack of prep. ;)

Krystal said...

sweets!! i didn't set up his room until like a month before he was born, he was gonna be so out of luck if he was early!!!

Julie and Jesse said...

Hello? Why are you buying clothes? You know that baby is gonna be naked and having lots of skin to skin time for the first 3 months of her life!

Julie and Jesse said...

Jk. But seriously. And don't think about other mamas. U
You're gonna be the best mama!

Anna said...

I totally understand you wanting to get things done because those things are nice and pretty, but Cory is really so right. Also, I really just don't understand how lots of moms have the capabilities and time to do all the craftz and stuff.

Cory is wise. When I read what he said to you, I thought, "This is probably exactly how Ian and I will be when this time comes for us..."

meg bird said...

Being a mother has not a thing to do with crafts or how cute the nursery is. And, as a complete stranger whose opinion probably doesn't matter, I think you're going to be a fantastic mother. If not partly because you care more about the baby's well-being than what people on the internet think of its outfits.

Ashley said...

Go watch the movie 'BABIES.' You will see that your daughter would be just as happy living in a hut with a dirt floor than she would living in a plush nursery. Maybe even happier.

Don't give into others' projections of being perfect (and it's just an image, anyway). Just be you :) You will be the best mom that baby can have.

katrina said...

people online are cray. you are so much more prepared than you think and baby is the luckiest just to have you guys as parents. our babies need to be bffs. especially because both of them will be the poor littles without fancy homemade headbands. being pregnant is a lot of work. I can't do a bunch of projects too!!!!