Wednesday, June 27, 2012

documentation.

 mascara was everywhere.
wiped across my shirt,
tattooed on my arm,
smudged under my left eye.

my red nose matched 
 the thin red line that framed my swollen lips.
that's what happens when i cry.
my lips get bigger and everything turns red.

there is no hiding my emotions.
ever.

i worry.
it's what i do.
i worry too soon,
i worry too much,
i worry to the point of tears.

sometimes everything can be too much
 and lately, 
"sometimes" seem to come around all the time.

praying for a break
 in these back-to-back obstacles is useless.
not because i think my prayers will go unheard,
but because i know there is something i need to learn.

it's a learning game.
it's a waiting game.
it's a faith game.

i get it, i really do.
i know later on i'll be grateful for these experiences
and the lessons i learned.
i know these moments will make me better.
they will make me a stronger, more patient person.
get it.
but later isn't here yet. 
and right now, 
i wish it were someone else's turn to bat. 

sidenote[s]:
i understand that someone is always up to bat. 
i'm not alone in this trial crap-fest.
but when you're in the moment, stuck in the middle of all this stress, you feel like the only one.
selfishness at it's best. 

also, i hate baseball. 
please don't ask why i chose to make that analogy. it's simply the best sport to relate to life. 
bats, bases, home, strikes, tight pants...
it just works. 

10 comments:

Shaylynn... I blahwg It's True. said...

and.. if you need your friend.. please find me.

emilymcb said...

:(

I'm sorry you're feeling crappy. Talk to me, Brissa Baby.

tiff@thecoffeehouse said...

it is totally a faith game. I worry my ass off too. It is an every day battle for me. and for so many other people. this is why you writing this is so very important. a lot of us can relate.
thinking of you ...

Jessica Wray said...

I'm sorry it's not a happy time. Keep your head as high as you can and remember this too shall pass

McKinley {Haolepinos} said...

I am so sorry you are having some rough "sometimes!!!" I hope you feel better soon.

Regardless of your day I this post shows how great of a writer you are!! And I still laughed a little!!! Take care cute girl!! It will get better, as you already know!

PS This is the first time I have looked at any blogs in over a month. And you are the first one I came to visit... I hope that makes you feel happy and glittery inside!!

kylee said...

you are an artist with your words, an example with your faith, and a beauty with your perseverance.

coastoe4 said...

I love you so much.

Jaclyn said...

sometimes you just have to get it all out. its all about faith even if you don't have any. its hard to say, don't worry. i have no tricks or secrets. just keep at it cute girl. you are a bright spot in lots of lives!

Alex said...

<3

Sierra said...

Let it out. I love this.
xoxo,
Sierra
Oh, Just Living the Dream