Friday, April 6, 2012

someone, please, make my heart stop beating so fast.

it was amazing.
i realize i'm behind the curve.
it's fine.
i don't care.
my heart, oh my heart.
it's aching. 

i knew the ending.
i knew jack died.
i just didn't know how.
i didn't know the details.
i didn't know their love.
and what a love it was.

i bawled like a baby. 
so many times.
i didn't really cry when he died.
i cried before.
i cried because it wasn't fair.
because i knew their love would survive, but he wouldn't. 

my heart hurt so much for them.
i clutched my chest as the tears flowed.
i watched them fight for life. 
for love. 

i cried for all the lives lost.
the families separated.
the people who didn't make it.
the people who didn't stand a chance. 

here i am.
sitting in my apartment at 12:53 in the morning,
crying my eyes out.
it might sound silly, 
but it was so real for me.
that love. 
that unwavering love was so strong.

"i trust you."

and this,
this may very well be the most perfect,
heartbreaking moment i've ever seen.
the couple holding each other in bed.
the mother comforting her children.
ah.
i need to stop.
i'm bawling again.


13 comments:

Elisha(: said...

arrgghghh I hate that ending!!!

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

I WAAAARNED YOU!

When she gets off the boat, I lost it.

And there was totally room on that headboard or door or whatever it was... they could have saved each other. Hello hypothermia, stip and hug, it would have worked.

I hope you've stopped crying. MY blog probably didn't help things much..

Harley said...

i have never seen it either! but now... you bet your face it is happening.

Christianna said...

And now you have jumped on the "Titanic" train! That sentence made me sense at all in context...

carla thorup said...

oh titanic. oh leo.

i saw it 4 times in theaters.

i bet it'd be more emotional now (and less looky-looky-hot-leo.)

Anna said...

I love you, Brissa.

Ashley said...

There's a reason this movie was so popular...it wasn't JUST the Leo craze. It's ACTUALLY a great movie!! Glad you finally got to see it. It's one of my faves ;)

Kelli Anderson said...

http://pinterest.com/pin/184929128418426180/

http://pinterest.com/pin/1900024812905526/

http://hinternetz.tumblr.com/post/12618993262/reddit-titanic

and this last one is just for good measure....

http://pinterest.com/pin/288160076127524311/

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

oh brissa, we all nursed these wounds YEARS ago.

why are you drudging all this sadness up?

jessie said...

it's the best movie. really.

Ellie Kornexl said...

IT WAS A HUGE DOOR, WHY COULDN'T THEY BOTH BE ON IT! WHY??!?!?!?!???!?!?

Also, every time I've been on a decent sized boat (ie not my kayak) I have approached the front and pulled a "Titanic".

carla thorup said...

um.. please invite me to come see it when you go again. i'm serious. (and can matt come? he actually really loves the Titanic. and Leo. we'll make him buy popcorn and not sit next to us!)

kylee said...

12:53 for you, 12:15 for me.
the chest-clutching cries are always the best kind.
um hi, i'm crying.
the fact that they play nearer my god to thee, and the other players come back to play with him, and just wow. the old couple... that's where i lose it and turn into a real mess. you know what gets me though? this is real. this happened. those were real people and i kind of can't wrap my head around it. can you imagine the terror?