Twisted Time Warp.

My baby brother is gone. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know it hardly makes a difference because before he left I was in Provo and he was at home, but now when I go home he won't be there. It was hard last year when Kay wasn't home and I would come to visit. But now he'll be gone and it'll just be Ash. She’s starting high school. She can drive in October. She’s taller than me. Weird. Everyone's growing up, getting married, and moving away. I don't like it.
I think the hardest part is when I realize my younger siblings (my babies) are growing up. It's a reminder (a slap in the face really) that I am also growing up. I'm a junior this year. I turn twenty in eight days. Wow. I don’t feel like I’m that old. I still feel like that girl who was too scared to ditch math class to go play. But it was during those moments when I chose to go on d-bar runs instead of studying the quadratic formula, tandem bike rides instead of freshening up on my geometery, or studying the formations of the clouds while playing guitar on Beth's tramp instead of figuring out matrices when I would find bits of mysef. It was like putting the outer edges of a puzzle together. I was starting then what I am filling in now. I wish I could "ditch" life for a moment. Just take a step back from reality to focus and find bits of myself again.
But change is constant and time never fails.