one ddp might not be enough.

jude has urped up on me so many times today,

i'm starting to think the smell of baby puke has seeped into my skin.

i honestly think the only way to get rid of it is soaking in a bath of tomato juice.

nearly every diaper she's had has been messy.

and when i say messy i mean m e s s y.

homegurl means business today.

i had every intention of washing the dishes

but had to kiss those dreams goodbye

when jude decided today was a good day to be clingy.

i have watched more trash tv than i'd care to admit,

nearly cut off my head in order to stop a headache,

and am currently enjoying what may just be

the most delicious can of ddp i will ever taste.

as dramatic and awful as i'm making all this sound,

(and trust me, it is. just, so smelly)

i love it.

every time i've fed her today,

she's held onto my hand.

when i make the slightest move,

she squeezes it tight like she's making sure i don't leave.

she's been screaming like a banshee during her diaper changes

and won't stop until i pick her up and hold her tight.

today,

i feel like a mom.

a real life mom.

one capable of hugging away tears

and making everything okay.

today has been hard

but i believe that's what has made it so great.