Thursday, July 25, 2013

this sounds like a 5th grade maturation assembly.

i want to get one thing straight,
i love being pregnant.
the fact that i'm growing an actual human being
inside me boggles my mind every day.
but there are some things happening to me right now
that no one prepared me for
and i'm kind of freaking out about it. 

hair.
it's not just the hairs on your head that grow.
all my hair is growing like lightning.
i don't know why i even bother shaving my legs.
and i've got some thin, wispy fellas
 hanging out on my neck now.
so that's fun. 

clothes/your growing body.
last sunday i tried on three skirts and cried.
one fit me the week before
and while the others were fine i didn't feel fine.
i can only wear my black maxi dress so many weeks in a row
without people figuring out it's the only thing i want to/can wear.

bacne.
i don't even want to talk about it.

emotions.
i thought i was bad before i got pregnant.
triggers are:
that zillow commercial.
that mattress commercial.
getting ready for church.
neck hairs. 
being asked baby-related questions. 
feeling really loved. 
minding my own business.

increased paranoia.
this mostly revolves around nightmares of
swollen feet, cankles and getting my wedding ring
cut off because i refuse to take it off. 
but cory said he thought 
kim kardashian "looked cute" while pregnant,
so at least i know he'll still love me
if i end up looking like violet beauregarde
 post blueberry flavored bubble gum.

and i can say all of this and not sound
completely crazy because all i have to do is add,
"i'm pregnant" at the end and suddenly it's okay!

crazy + dramatic + pregnant brissa = okay and adorable!
crazy + dramatic + normal brissa = not okay or adorable.

loophole, found. 

8 comments:

Alissa said...

"minding my own business."

giggling.

Listen, neck hair or no neck hair, you got this. Wear that black maxi dress all you want. I fully support your choices :)

meg bird said...

the minding your own business trigger. too funny.

Sara said...

I love this for so many reasons, not the least of which being that you are kind of like my personal Seer showing me all the goodies I have to look forward to in a month or so. But seriously. The dreams. The dreams are the weirdest effing dreams I have ever had, ever. Also, I cried at the beach while randomly thinking of my old cat. So, yeah. Wear that black maxi dress every damn day until Christmas.

My name is Lydia said...

haha! you go ahead and treat your pregnant self to whatever you want, and go shopping, cause girl, you growin' a human and you deserve it!

Lauren Hall said...

I so wish I could see pregnant brissa!

Emma Jane said...

Mostly what I'm looking forward to when I get pregnant is pulling the pregnancy card so people don't bug me when I cry when I watch anything ever.

Pregnant loophole = best loophole.

Em
Tightrope to the Sun

kylee said...

coming from someone who has seen you in person, you are adorably pregnant.

Kelli Anderson said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYf82F3CHYo