this sounds like a 5th grade maturation assembly.

i want to get one thing straight,

i love being pregnant.

the fact that i'm growing an actual human being

inside me boggles my mind every day.

but there are some things happening to me right now

that no one prepared me for

and i'm kind of freaking out about it. 

hair.

it's not just the hairs on your head that grow.

all my hair is growing like lightning.

i don't know why i even bother shaving my legs.

and i've got some thin, wispy fellas

 hanging out on my neck now.

so that's fun. 

clothes/your growing body.

last sunday i tried on three skirts and cried.

one fit me the week before

and while the others were fine i didn't feel fine.

i can only wear my black maxi dress so many weeks in a row

without people figuring out it's the only thing i want to/can wear.

bacne.

i don't even want to talk about it.

emotions.

i thought i was bad before i got pregnant.

triggers are:

that zillow commercial.

that mattress commercial.

getting ready for church.

neck hairs. 

being asked baby-related questions. 

feeling really loved. 

minding my own business.

increased paranoia.

this mostly revolves around nightmares of

swollen feet, cankles and getting my wedding ring

cut off because i refuse to take it off. 

but cory said he thought 

kim kardashian "looked cute" while pregnant,

so at least i know he'll still love me

if i end up looking like violet beauregarde

 post blueberry flavored bubble gum.

and i can say all of this and not sound
completely crazy because all i have to do is add,
"i'm pregnant" at the end and suddenly it's okay!

crazy + dramatic + pregnant brissa = okay and adorable!
crazy + dramatic + normal brissa = not okay or adorable.

loophole, found.