soul secrets: december 01, 2011.

you held my hand

in the dark, dome theater.

it was normal.

it was natural.

you'd held my hand so many times before

but this time it was different.

this time it was new.

my heart pounded to the beat of led zeppelin

and my eyes danced with the lasers.

your fingers rubbed my hand

and squeezed it tight.

i let a small smile escape my lips.

my body looked calm

but my brain was flying.

i'm not sure if it was the combination

of loud music and flashing lights

or the fact you said my name five times

and put my cold hand in your pocket as we walked,

but i got high.

in a moment of insanity,

a moment of weakness,

 i thought,

"these hands—

the ones holding mine right now—

could be the last hands i ever hold.

this could be it.

i could be done."

and i smiled.

my heart skipped.

my stomach turned

and i felt calm.

i felt happy.

i felt home with you.