Thursday, March 29, 2012

thoughts on growing up.

yesterday, i looked at my planner
and it hit me.
in two weeks,
school will be over.
classes will be done.
a week after that i walk.
after an internship,
i'll be graduated.
before i turn 23 i will be an "adult."
diploma in hand
and degree earned.

i'm scared.
i don't know if i'm ready for this.
all i've ever known is school.
i don't know how to prepare for what's ahead.
no one ever tells you.
no one ever warns you.
as exciting as the real world is,
it's equally terrifying.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do next.
and don't say,
"whatever you want! you're free!"
because we all know i'm not.
we all know this is when "real life" starts.

i'm not ready to say goodbye to summer vacations.
i'm not ready for
 projects, assignments and deadlines
to turn into strangers.
i'm not ready to grow up.
i'm not ready and i'm scared.

i want to do everything and nothing.
i want to conquer the world
as much as i want to sit back and watch it be conquered.

i'm not ready.
i don't know if i will ever be.
22 is too young to be an adult.
22 is too young to grow up.
i'm still a baby.
but this time,
training wheels aren't acceptable.

14 comments:

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

You my dearest friend. You are going to change the world. I know this.

Why? Because you changed mine, you made it brighter, better, far more vibrant.

Your job? You'll find it, and you'll realize the vacation of going home and not needing to do work is far better then college. So says the dropout.

So proud of you.

I feel like a mom, only cooler.

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

Zombie Hunting. Career. Lets start a business. Now you're a grad you can be president. think about it, pray about it, get back to me.

text. fb. redlipstick. just let me know.

Kirstyn said...

You literally took the words right out of my mouth. That is exactly how i have been feeling lately. It's all very exciting and terrifying all that the same time. That is partially why I am escaping to Italy for a few weeks haha. We should just become friends and try to figure out this whole growing up thing together, yeah? You are amazing though and amazing things will happen for you!

Crystle said...

Jump in feet first! Don't be closed minded to careers outside of your degree. Enjoy the paychecks. Enjoy the pride you'll feel when you're contributing towards your retirement and get ready for those big fat tax returns.

Set goals.

You've got this.

eliza jane said...

i may sound like your momma! but i am proud of you! i am graduating this spring, with a couple classes this summer and it is oh so nice' to finally be done. but it is a little bit scary to all of the sudden not be in school anymore. this hasn't happened since before i can remember! yoo-hoo for us!

Christianna said...

Go for it girl! Don't be afraid to think outside of the box. If you don't want to answer to anyone else, find a way to do that! Find and do what you love and it won't seem like work most days. Honestly, only most days, some days it's still a pain in your ass. Lol. You're gonna do awesome, and your gonna do something amazing!

Alex said...

You know, no one's really ready to graduate. Quite honestly, no one's ever really ready to grow up. Heck, I'm still figuring it out and I'm well into the working world. But don't you worry; you figure it out. It all comes together. Don't you fret :)

Ashley said...

I remember that feeling. Little did I know that you'll still be confused a few years from now. We're young, life will always be confusing. It will be trial and error until you find what's right for you, and that's ok. That's life, and it kind of makes it worthwhile.

McKenzie King said...

all i ever need when i am stressed or scared:

http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=6763

you'll do just fine baby gurl.

kandice said...

BAAAAABIES!

not to say that i don't believe you shouldn't also go on to do great things, etc.

but...

...

babies.

Justin said...

You're the best Brissa. You'll know what to do!

smashley said...

toootttalllly feeling the same way right now.

Lauren said...

One word....CALIFORNIA.

Lauren said...

p.s. Dean and I have an extra room that we can turn into a bedroom ;)