attn: couple in the library.

honey, 

if you're okay with him giving you a back massage
in the middle of the library,

i'm pretty sure you two can hold hands as you leave the room.

unless that's too pda-y.

in that case, 

i totally understand. 

this world is going to give me depression.

first the end of harry potter,

now this?!?!

i don't know how much more of this i can handle.

and on a sidenote:

is it just me, or does anyone else want to punch the voice box

of the tmz narrator? 

soooooo annoying. 

what's the story wishbone?

i never really understood why/how he got all the ladies.
anyone mind solving that puzzle for me?
on a sidenote, i think my mouth is broken.
lyke fur reelz.
there's a little spot that is incredibly tender.
it hurts when my pearly whites rub against it
which is a problem since my mouth is their home.
it's been about a week and it's not going away.
i should go buy some baby orajel.
yes, baby.
i firmly believe baby anything cures everything.

i've drawn arrows to direct you straight to the devil spot.

i'm thinking about giving him a name. 

like satan.

farewell to all my friends

to the man who invented the yoplait yogurt container,

i hate you.

while your container is aesthetically appealing 

and contains delicious dairy goodness

your container itself sucks.

i am able to scrape the sides clean,

i can use my tongue to clear out yogurt from under the lip at the top,

but i cannot for the life of me salvage any of the yogurt from the bottom.

do you have any idea how much yogurt that wastes?

do you?!?!!

this much.

r.i.p. to the remains of my strawberry-kiwi breakfast.

granted i didn't try very hard and i was working with a plastic fork

but that is beside the fact.

spoon or not, your invention still sucks.

billy boy, you're killing me.

i need to watch a billion shakespeare movies by monday.

i have a housing project that needs to get done.

i have a final tomorrow

and a midterm on monday.

fml.

why does life have to get really hard all at once?

can't it just take a little break?

or give me drama in installments?

i vote for seasons.

that way there can be a theme with each issue

and i'm guaranteed a dynamite finale.

microscopiciccles.

i hate this cold.

it's official: 

i could never live in an igloo.

life dream #5709.75 = crushed. 

i think my nose hairs were starting to freeze this morning.

just fyizzle.

boom-boom-clap [shootmeintheface] boom-dee-clap-dee-clap

i have had the unpleasant opportunity

of waking up to radio disney for the past few days.

please note:

i did not realize my radio was set to this station.

i keep forgetting to change it.

day one:

i was woken up by my favorite bieber 

serenading me with his hit single.

day two:

hannah montanta thrust herself into my dreams

with her horrendous hoedown throwdown. 

wanna hear the real kicker?

this is the only alarm i can actually wake up to.

so it looks like i'm stuck.

i wonder what tomorrow will bring.

let's hope it's a throwback to classics

and i get some bye bye bye or c'est la vie.

an overwhelming aroma.

hello world.

meet our foster dog roxy:

cute right?

and yes, that is how she sleeps. 

...weirdie...

she just peed on the carpet.

the entire house smells like animal urine.

now i know why madre and padre laid down the

'no pets in the house' law.

to avoid the glorious new fragrance that has graced our house.

like glade, but not. 

attn: bicycle boy dressed in black

i know you thought  you were being clever by riding off so fast

and leaving the rest of us in your "dust,"

but you failed.

i know what you did while getting on your little 10-speed.

if there had been more people around me 

i'm sure they would have smelt known too.

that was vile.

attn: winter

i don't like you right now.

you have caused the following to happen to me.

{via}

here is a better representation.

{because we're both brown and it paints a more accurate picture for you.}

{via}

it's really quite annoying.

all i want to do is comb my bangs and brush my hair 

but it starts sticking to me.

my bangs get suctioned to my forehead and stick to it like a fly to glue.

it makes me want to punch your face if you had one.

{via}

allz i'm saying is you better watch your back winter,

anyone who gives me static this crazy deserves a punishment.

i'm coming for you.

i will find you

and

i.will.cut.you.

attn: don's

{because don's is what we call mcdonald's in my household.}

i've got a bone to pick with you.

yessiree i do.

the other day was the first time in over a decade 

i ordered a "happy meal"

and let me tell you,

i was not pleased.

at the drive-in they asked the gender of the recipient of said "happy meal."

i found it odd, but answered honestly

because "i am not a crook [liar]."

i love kid's meals for the following reasons:

the toy.the price.the toy.the size.the toy.

when i opened my "box of sunshine"

i realized why they asked my gender.

they wanted to give me a sucky present.

may i introduce you to 

"papa elephant"

after taking a good three-second look at my box

i made an important decision.

next time,

i'm totally saying i'm a boy.

power 'em > cuddle 'em

ai ya yai!!

i think i'm going bald.

 i keep finding stray strands of hair

my hair

on my desk at work.

why universe?!

wwwhhhhyyyyy?!!

i mean i'm only twenty-one.

is this premature baldness really necessary?

heck,

is "natural" female baldness really necessary?
:clarification:
i'm not actually balding.
there is no bald spot on my head.
but still!
if i keep this up i may be sporting a shiny cranium come christmas. 

if any of you have ever experienced this traumatic ordeal

please feel free to share your tips on keeping 

hair on your head

and not on your desk.

i'm about to have a heart attack and shave it off b.spears style.

jk. 

lollerz.

i ain't that kraysee.

i don't even know

i've never been more ashamed to call these boys my friends.

i'm a little peeved

**WARNING**

this post may be a little too much for some of you to handle.

i entered the bathroom at work and walked straight to my favorite stall.

don't hate.

you know you have one too.

mine happens to be the handi-capable stall in the corner.

it is giant and makes me feel like i'm hiding while i potty.
it also makes me feel safe because of it's size.
i don't like being in close proximity to other stalls/humans whilst i potty.*
back to my story.

i turn and find my beloved bowl unfavorably occupied.

as a result i am forced to exit my special stall

and use my original favorite

also known as 

"the back up."

today in the battle of woman vs. stall

stall won.

{yes i am referencing one of my favorite shows.  soooo good. and for those of you who don't know, it's his sign off after every challenge.  now go and educate yourselves in the ways of the wise.}


*okay this is something that really grates on my nerves.  i hate it when i am the only person in a public restroom and some little miss thang comes in and SITS IN THE STALL RIGHT NEXT TO MINE. i mean seriously?!!  why would she do that? does she not realize it's creepy?  it's unnecessary and although we won't see each other because our pee schedules are obviously different, it's closer than i will ever want to be to her.  i mean am i crazy or doesn't everyone like a little privacy whilst they pee.

privacy = at least a one stall buffer. 

gag me.

ew.

ew.ew.ew.

**WARNING** 

i have no problem punching you in the face if you own a pair of these.

seriously.

most hideous pair of "thong flat sandal boots" ever.

and yes, that is their real-life birth name.

please

don't.

it's not cool.

or appreciated.

k. thanks. bye.

.....

but really.

don't.

are you kidding me?!!!!

i am not happy right now.

and i have absolutely no problem blaming you.

does that make me an awful person?

if you said yes, you should hear the story.

i think you'd start blaming too.

if you said no,

bless you.

communism continues.

the day is may 24th.

and guess what?

it's snowing.

i am once again angry with mother nature

and her stupid communist ways.

i was wearing shorts two days ago.

the snow is sticking

and i'm about two seconds away from junk punching someone.

l;ajgo;earijfklasdflkasjdf.

(that was my frustration)

hey hey.

i didn't appreciate that.

not one bit.

just thought you should know.

k.thanks.bye.

dear playlist.com

i'm kind of angry with you right now.
i don't like how you made me feel today.
you scared me and made me think.
not okay.
i don't appreciate it.
i'd rather you not do that for a while.
because of that i'm putting my "chill" list on probation for the time being.
you were supposed to calm me down, not make me ponder/freak.
once again...not okay.

{not} sincerely,
brissa.